Writing an Eulogy is delicate and can even be challenging; read this article to learn everything you need to know about writing a funeral speech perfectly.
A eulogy is a remembrance speech delivered during a funeral or memorial event by family members, close friends, or colleagues. At a memorial, sometimes only one person provides a eulogy, and other times several persons are chosen to share their recollections and stories. With relatives and friends frequently travelling to attend a memorial service, eulogies provide a much-needed chance for introspection as everyone gathers to celebrate a loved one’s passing.
Writing a eulogy after losing someone close to you is a difficult process. You’ll need to gather anecdotes and memories to tell in front of a large group of people. Eulogies are made wonderful by their ability to console those relatives and friends who share your grief while keeping your loved one’s legacy alive.
A decent eulogy emphasises the person’s long-term impact on their family and community. You will get the opportunity to highlight their distinct talents and the ripple impact of positivity and change they produced in the world around them through your speech. How can you best remember and respect your loved one? A eulogy can be part of your healing process and a great way to reflect on the things that made them unique.
What is a eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech delivered during a funeral or memorial event. It’s a memorial to someone who has died and a place to share memories of them. And an opportunity for them to reflect on their lives and discuss what made them distinct. It’s also known as a funeral address.
A funeral speech is called a eulogy since the word itself denotes praise when broken down. The word eulogy derives from the Greek words eu (good) and logos (speaking). So, when you give a eulogy, you’re thanking the deceased and speaking about the good they did in their life.
Who reads the eulogy at a funeral?
Typically, the eulogy during a funeral is delivered by someone close to the deceased. Children, for example, may give eulogies at their parents’ funerals. A eulogy, on the other hand, can be delivered by relatives or friends of the deceased. Those individuals closest to the deceased believe that reading the eulogy will be too difficult, the celebrant could volunteer and read it for them instead.
The purpose of an eulogy
A eulogy is an honour offered to one or more surviving friends and family members who had a close relationship with the deceased.
Eulogies allow those in attendance to reflect on the deceased’s accomplishments, character, and legacy. In doing so, it pays honour to them via shared, cherished memories and provides comfort to mourners as they bid their loved one farewell.
What makes a good eulogy?
Summarising someone’s life in a few words might feel like a huge duty. If you’ve been asked to deliver a eulogy, there are a few crucial things that might help make it memorable.
A meaningful eulogy not only addresses the person’s life events and influences, but it also illuminates their personality through storytelling. Incorporating a well-chosen personal anecdote into your eulogy can be a heartfelt reminder of your loved one’s qualities that attendees will remember fondly.
How to structure an eulogy
Eulogies can take many different forms. Some people prefer to begin their eulogy with a poem, a religious reading, or a personal narrative, while others utilise similar elements as a concluding thought.
A stable framework, regardless of approach, has three parts: a beginning, a middle, and an end.
Beginning
The tone of the eulogy should be established at the start. This section can contain your relationship with the departed, a reading of a phrase or scripture they liked, and key milestones in their lives, such as a love relationship, becoming a father, a career, and so on.
Middle
The eulogy’s heart follows. This is the section where you will talk about the deceased’s life achievements, personal experiences, and the impact they had on people around them.
End
The eulogy can be wrapped up with a poem, music lyrics or verse, or a statement of gratitude for your loved one. It can also emphasise the major sentiment you want people to remember about the deceased.
How to write an eulogy that honours your loved one
- Be mindful of your time. A well-paced eulogy speech is five to 10 minutes long and contains 700 to 3,000 words. Although there is no time limit set for an eulogy, keeping it brief preserves listeners’ attention and allows time for other aspects of the service.
- Don’t just wing it. Even if you’re confident in your oratory abilities, the day of the ceremony can bring up a flood of deep emotions, making it difficult to communicate a meaningful tribute. Prepare your speech ahead of time and practise it aloud.
- Request that someone read your speech ahead of time. As with any written project, having someone else look it over can assist you in identifying flaws.
- Include no details that will raise eyebrows. There are better moments to provide information that could be interpreted as improper or disgruntled.
Writing an eulogy step by step
Here’s one technique for writing a eulogy for a deceased loved one. It will assist you in taking things step by step to make things a little easier.
It’s a good idea to divide the eulogy into pieces (beginning, middle, and end) and then focus on writing each one in turn. If you find it impossible to sit down and write the entire eulogy at once, you could write one section per day. Before you begin writing anything, talk to other friends and family members to hear their memories as well. They could want you to say something specific in your funeral address.
1. How to start an eulogy
How do you begin a eulogy? It can feel like the most difficult part. A tale about the person who has died is a good place to start. You might describe how you met them or tell a tale about the type of person they were. Try writing down some of your favourite stories about them to get some ideas. They might be moving, hilarious, emotional, or motivating.
To begin started, consider the following suggestions:
- The first time you met them
- The thing everyone always discussed about them
- The last time you saw them
- The last thing they said to you
- The thing you will always remember about them
2. What to say in an eulogy
Following a basic eulogy framework will make it easier for you to say and for others to follow. Try to limit yourself to 3-5 main ideas, and then give yourself 1-2 minutes to explain each one.
Things you could include in your eulogy:
- Stories that show the personality and best qualities of the person
- Share the person’s favourite poem or song lyrics
- Share something that the person said, and that you will never forget
- Talk about their favourite interests or hobbies
- Celebrate the most significant achievements in their life
3. How to end an eulogy
End your funeral speech with something memorable and meaningful. You might end with an inspiring statement from the deceased person, or you could end with a final tale. You might even conclude with a phrase on what you believe the individual would say to everyone if they were still alive. You could even conclude with a poem or song.
How to write a meaningful eulogy for a loved one
There is no correct or incorrect way to write a eulogy. If you were chosen to deliver one, it was most likely due to your meaningful connection to the deceased and your beautiful storytelling ability. Have faith in yourself during this procedure, and if you start to feel nervous, let your memories of your loved one guide you.
1. Gather memories
Create a timeline of some of their most major life events, such as marriage, having children, information about their notable job, a lifetime of travel, or their commitment and dedication to their community. Seeing a timeline of their most significant life events on paper will help you select what should be highlighted in their eulogy.
- Read old letters, emails, and text messages
- Revisit memorabilia
- Return to unique places that hold memories
- Watch family videos and look through old photos
Make a list of all the terms you’d use to describe them and their personality.
You might want to use some of these descriptors in your eulogy. Writing out what you admired in them and your life together will bring back specific recollections.
Another source of inspiration is family and close friends. Inquire about their best memories, insights into their relationship with the departed, or locations and seasons that will always remind them of their loved one.
For ideas, ask the following questions to friends and family:
- What were some of their favourite times with you?
- Were there any particular personality qualities that stood out to you?
- Did they have a favourite motto, song lyric, or quote?
- What uplifting stories best express their essence?
- Gathering ideas from various sources will assist you in identifying a common thread or subject that will connect the various parts of your eulogy.
Gathering ideas from different sources will help you identify a common thread or theme to tie the pieces of your eulogy together.
2. Write a meaningful eulogy
Eulogies are often given for 5-10 minutes, or written for 750-1,000 words. When writing your first draft, write as you converse and allow the words flow easily. The most crucial aspect is to concentrate on how and why they were significant to you; eulogies do not need to be polished and perfect.
It can be beneficial to take a break from a first draft and return to it with new eyes. Send your initial draft to friends or family members for feedback. Remember the major topic of your eulogy during the editing process — whether it’s their adventurous spirit or their skill as a good listener — and make sure your anecdotes and highlights help bring those attributes to life.
Writing a meaningful eulogy for someone close to you may be a very sad, but also beautiful and cathartic, experience. It’s an opportunity to reflect on treasured memories from the past and keep those memories alive even after your loved one has passed away.
3. Practice with friends and family
When you’ve finished writing a eulogy you’re proud of, practise it in front of friends or relatives. You will need to say the words you’ve prepared at some point, so practice before the memorial ceremony. Allow one of the observers to time your speech so you can estimate how long it will take. You will often speak faster than you intended, so take time to breathe and slow down.
After you’ve rehearsed, ask your loved ones specific questions about the areas you believe want improvement. Make sure you read the eulogy to someone who can provide helpful comments so you know where to improve and make changes.
4. Edit and repeat
Make any required changes to your eulogy after practising with friends and family. When you read your writing aloud, you may discover that it does not sound the way you expected it to. It is therefore beneficial to edit after hearing it aloud. Make changes to the places where you received input, and then repeat the peer review process until you believe it is ready for the memorial.
What should I include in an eulogy?
Every eulogy should be unique, however the following subjects will help you get started:
- A summary of their life, including significant events
- Your favourite memories with them, including at least one anecdote
- Details regarding their close family and friends’ relationships
- Any notable achievements in your profession, interests, or hobbies
- Poems, stories, or songs composed by the deceased
- Favourite quotations from authors or poets they admire
What makes a good eulogy?
In the end, it doesn’t matter whatever anecdotes or quotes you include in the eulogy. And it makes no difference whether you keep things serious or go for a lighter tone. Everyone else in the room will appreciate your funeral speech as long as it is courteous and honours the individual who has died. If you’re still unsure where to begin or need more eulogy ideas, our hub of poems, songs, and readings may be of assistance.
How long should an eulogy be?
Eulogies are typically brief. As a guideline, try to compose a speech that lasts between 5 and 10 minutes. However, you should consider how long you are comfortable speaking for. It’s also acceptable if you only want to chat for a few minutes.
The day of the memorial service
For a variety of reasons, the day of the memorial ceremony might be painful. Saying farewell to a loved one is difficult enough, but reading a speech in front of others can be stressful as well. Remember that you were picked because you are the ideal person to represent their lives.
When speaking, take a moment to pause and regain your breath. When we are scared, we tend to speak too rapidly, yet halting and breathing will likely be seen as natural by the audience. Allow pause between sentences and paragraphs for folks to process what you’ve said before moving on to the next point. Don’t let fear override your affection for the gone. You’ve worked hard on your eulogy and are now ready to read it aloud.
