A short blurb about the jumbled up feelings I have about my relationship with the man I love.
Sometimes I feel like giving up and quitting this gig. I stay because I am in love with my best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life. I feel like quitting because of me. I feel like he is just stuck here and would rather be anywhere else but here. I feel selfish to ask him to stay, but what could I do. I feel guilty everyday for loving him like I do because I know he could have so much more with someone better than myself. He has distanced himself and rightfully so. I don’t blame him, how could I. He is the most wonderful person ever, but I have shattered his heart once again into a million pieces and I have to live with that. The smallest things do count when it comes to love and hurting. The smallest things amount to everything sometimes. I suffer the agony everyday. I am sure he does too. I want him to be happy, but I dare to suggest how to do that. I just want him happy again like he used to be. It is rather tragic because I do not know why he would stay. he has had countless others tell him he is hot. I am not so hot. I have never been hit on in any way, much less anyone ever say anything of the sort where ever I might be. I have an uneventful, unmemorable face. I am as plain as they get, yet he wants to still be with me. I should be grateful, and I am, but it is just something different for me to be with someone so gorgeous and popular. I am used to being the “popular” one. Maybe I am the jealous and do not know it. I don’t think so though. I love that he is so popular, but i do get left behind. I know he doesn’t really care and he has every right not to. Why should he. I will just not talk and give him all the spotlight as I stand silent in the corner.
