Obituaries, written to tell everyone of a loved one’s passing, can be challenging at times. If you want to write a perfect obituary, read this article to learn everything you need to know about it.
Writing an obituary is one of the most intimate forms of writing there is. A death, the funeral or memorial ceremony information, the deceased’s family connections, and their influence on the community are all covered in an obituary. Obituaries can be written for anyone who has passed away, whether they were a friend, relative, or work colleague. Obituaries typically appear in publications like neighborhood papers, social media, or funeral facility websites.
It can be difficult to write an obituary, just like many other aspects of the grieving process. Here are some tips for drafting a dignified, considerate obituary.
What is an obituary?
An obituary is a written announcement of a person’s passing. It typically includes information on the deceased’s life and personality as well as the specifics of the approaching funeral service.
Newspaper obituaries and memorial pages online are commonplace. Obituaries for the famous frequently appear in the larger publications as a matter of routine (really, whether they like it or not). For everyone else, it happens much more frequently that a family member or friend may pay a local newspaper to publish an obituary they have written, or that they will publish it online themselves and spread it on social media.
An obituary serves as a notice of a loved one’s passing. It is intended to share information about the person’s life, serve as a permanent record for future generations, and notify people about any viewing, memorial, funeral, and burial services.
The steps for writing an obituary are as follows:
- Obtain vital information on your loved one.
- Declare the person’s passing and provide their full name, age, place of residence, and death date.
- Give a succinct account of their life.
- Mention living family members as well as those who have previously passed away.
- Share information about the funeral or memorial service, such as whether it will be a public or private gathering.
- Note the address for sending donations, if necessary.
- Verify your facts and edit your writing.
Do I have to do an obituary?
An obituary is not legally required to be written when someone passes away. An online death notice or obituary, on the other hand, can be a useful tool for informing family, friends, and the neighbourhood of a death.
Who should write the obituary?
An obituary frequently contains private information, so it is typically written by family or friends. Your funeral director will, however, be happy to offer advice.
What is an obituary usually like?
An obituary can be organised anyway you choose, but it typically includes the following:
- An introduction detailing the individual’s passing and when
- A summary of their life and accomplishments
- A brief mention of the members of their surviving family
- The date, location, and specifics of the funeral services
A few families have in the past vented their displeasure with the deceased through the obituary. It’s much more typical to maintain a mildly optimistic attitude (or at least neutrality) throughout. Some families prefer that the obituary’s tone accurately captures the character of their loved one. Genuinely humorous obituaries are uncommon (and difficult to pull off), but they do occur.
What to include in an obituary
No two persons are alike, particularly when viewed through the eyes of a close friend or relative. However, there are some standards for what should be included in an obituary. For instance, it should include details such as:
- the deceased person’s name
- a picture of them
- the date of their death, their age at the time of passing
- the names of their family members (for example, a partner or children)
- specifics of a memorial or funeral (date, time, and location)
- information about flowers or donations
Beyond that, an obituary’s purpose is to give background information about the deceased and explain their life story. This can be accomplished by including succinct anecdotes about the person’s personality, daily activities, achievements, and community service.
Most obituaries are only a few paragraphs long (or about two to three hundred words). Although that brief space may seem limiting, it’s vital to keep in mind that an obituary is only one way to pay tribute to a loved one’s memories. There will be other opportunities to share their stories, such as eulogies, which may give a deeper insight into their personality and life story, even though the obituary’s primary purpose is to inform a public audience of the deceased’s passing. This can help reduce some of the pressure you might experience when writing an obituary.
Announce the death
When considering what to write in an obituary, you should begin by including the following basic information about your loved one:
- Full name
- Age
- Place of birth
- Date of death
- Place of death
If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to mention the cause of death in an obituary. Please make careful to get the family’s consent first if you decide to distribute this material.
Provide general biographical information
Include a few biographical details like your date of birth, upbringing, schooling, marital status, accomplishments, and employment history. Be succinct and exact in the language you use. Try to convey as much meaning as you can in as few words as you can.
Recount details about their life
Include information about the person’s life while writing an obituary; this is a crucial factor. You might need to establish a word restriction for the obituary depending on where it will be printed because newspapers frequently charge by the word.
Briefly summarise their life’s most important moments and accomplishments. This could relate to their training, interests, or civic engagement. Every life is different, and an obituary should acknowledge this.
Make it personal
It’s crucial to capture the essence of the loved one who has departed in order to create an excellent obituary. Write a paragraph that summarises both your loved one’s accomplishments and personality. Consider emphasising your interests, passions, and personality traits.
Don’t write more than you can afford because newspapers will charge you by line, word, or inch (depending on the publication). You might only require a brief, factual obituary.
Include survivng family members
It is usual to include direct family members who predeceased your loved one in addition to family members and loved ones who have survived the deceased.
It’s crucial to give a basic summary of the family members who died before the loved one as well as the living family, even if you don’t have to list every nephew and cousin by name. Other relatives can be referred to in a more general way while close family members can be listed by name.
Add a special message or poem
At the conclusion of an obituary, some individuals choose to include a particular greeting, a brief prayer, or a funeral poem. This is entirely up to you, but it can be a wonderful way to honour a loved one.
Choose an appropriate photo for the obituary
If the newspaper accepts photos, you might want to include one last thing: a picture of your loved one. If you do decide to include an obituary photograph, make sure it is a clear headshot of the deceased and one that they would have been content with.
Include details about the funeral or memorial
Include information on the wake or memorial service as well as the funeral, including the location and time of both events. Don’t forget to mention the funeral’s date, time, and location. Include details about sending flowers, money, or sympathies as well.
Review for mistakes
Check everything once more. Send your completed work to a friend or unbiased third party for review after you are happy with it. Because obituaries are written during a time of mourning, it can be challenging to write them with an objective viewpoint. It’s always beneficial to have several viewpoints. Send the obituary for publication once you are certain that it is as good as it can be.
How to write an obituary in few steps
Gather information
If you were close to the deceased, you may already be aware of the crucial information, such as who their family members are and the date of the funeral. However, you can be composing the obituary on the family’s behalf as an outsider to assist them in their sorrow.
In either case, asking the deceased’s close friends and relatives to fill in any blanks can be helpful. This can also help you understand what other people would want or expect from the obituary and, if applicable, which photo to include.
Look at the things that made them unique
Beyond the biographical information about their life, your loved one probably experienced a lot of little things that contributed to the development of the person you knew and loved. Here, giving yourself specific prompts, such as:
- What is your favorite memory of your loved one?
- How would most people describe them?
- What personality traits stand out in your mind?
- Did they have any hobbies?
- Are there any quirks that come to mind when you remember them?
- How would they want to be remembered?
Gathering this context can help you hone the narrative you’re conveying about who they were even if you don’t have to include everything you can in the obituary. Again, one method to add additional depth to the obituary is to ask friends and family members for their favourite tales about your loved one.
Organize the obituary
It’s time to give the obituary structure once you’ve gathered all the information you want to include or take into consideration. Here is a structure that will give it a smooth, logical flow:
- Let’s start with the facts: the deceased’s full name, age, death date, and family members who are left behind.
- Give specifics about their background, including their educational accomplishments, their professional titles and honours, their length of relationship with or marriage to their partner, etc.
- Include a list of the things they enjoyed doing, including any hobbies and general interests as well as any memorable incidents.
- Don’t forget to include information on the funeral or memorial service for anyone wishing to attend or, if it’s a private ceremony, the family’s wishes.
Though it can aid in getting you going, this framework is not your only choice. Writing an obituary that feels appropriate for the deceased should be the aim, whether that entails emphasising their accomplishments and influence on society, celebrating the person they were among friends and family, or a combination of the two. That being said, it should be written primarily in the third person rather than from your own viewpoint.
Proofread
It’s crucial to give your obituary some time to be thoroughly proofread once you’ve finished writing it. Basic errors like typos should be checked for, but you should also pay attention to the tone. It should be courteous and written with empathy, but also accurately reflecting the person your loved one was. If you’re unsure if the tone feels appropriate, run your draught by a person you can trust and ask them for their opinion. If they were also acquainted with the deceased, it would be even more beneficial.
Things to take care of
- Anything that could be exploited to steal someone’s identity or is personal should be deleted. This applies to information like phone numbers and house addresses.
- Always include the deceased’s entire name in obituary writing, along with any nicknames they may have had. When writing an obituary, it’s crucial to include details like the deceased’s hometown or city, the location and cause of their death, their age, and the day and year of their passing.
- Before mentioning the cause of death, consult with close family and friends. You could choose to keep this information private in specific circumstances. You can leave it out entirely, or use a euphemism like “passed after a long illness” or “passed suddenly.”
Does an obituary have to be published?
Obituary notices, which are customarily printed in regional or national newspapers, assist in notifying people that a loved one has sadly passed away. Even though online obituary notices are becoming more and more common, obituaries are not required to be published in print.
Why publish an obituary?
- So that clarifies what an obituary in general means. But what exactly serves as a death notice? It’s crucial to keep in mind that you are under no obligation to compose a funeral speech if you are planning one for a close friend or family member. However, a death notice might be helpful if you have to:
- Inform the larger neighbourhood of the passing. There may be friends and former coworkers of the deceased for whom you lack contact information. They might be difficult to reach in another way.
- Make everyone aware of the funeral plans. in a single motion. Wires can cross when there are several visitors to contact and various persons are in charge of it. An official source they can refer to again is an obituary published online or in the newspaper.
- Make a record of the person’s life and character for the public to see. Perhaps fortunately, the most of us will go our entire lives without making the news. An obituary can be a means of letting the larger community know about and appreciate someone’s best qualities.
What’s the difference between obituary and a death notice?
Important details like name, age, birthdate, and deathdate are frequently included in death notices. An obituary typically contains more information about the life and accomplishments of the deceased.
Conclusion
You can tell if someone recently passed away by checking local newspapers, online obituaries, and social media. Important details like name, age, birthdate, and deathdate are frequently included in death notices. An obituary typically contains more information about the life and accomplishments of the deceased.
All in all, writing a perfect obituary is very easy only if you properly follow all the steps and tips provided in the article.
