To be or Not to be, a Writer?

I have spent the last three years of my life, in fear of my desire to become a writer.  At first, leaving a job I had for eight years, seemed like the perfect time to go after my life long dream. I was 47 years old, unemployed, all my skills for the past 16 years were with children.  I was finding myself more lost and alone than I had ever been, I not only was unemployed, my health was in jeopardy.  I started looking into freelance writing courses, I signed up paid some money up front, and started my course.  For the first time in my life, I received a perfect score on my first test I had taken.  This was a very big deal for me, but loosing the income that I use to have was putting our finances in dire straights.  Time and time again, I put off writing, I started to look for other work that I could do at home, this was taking up all my time. Then fear set in, and started to take over my very being, I was in such fear of getting out there and writing.  I was letting so many obstacles get in my way of my chances to become a writer.  I gave up so many times, but it always seemed to be the only door that was opening up for me.  I knew I had to find the courage and the strength to start just putting my writing out there.  I was up against so much in the past three years, not only loosing my job, we had to do a short sale on our home, I also had to find a new one to live in.  I found myself in a battle, with so many things coming at me, I was having such a hard time focusing, on top of that I was going through menapuase.   My inner self, deep down, where the disire was, would not let me give up.  I don’t have a degree, I have not yet to write a book, but my heart knows, the words are with me everyday. To be, or not to be, I say be!