Why I Haven’t Been Writing

Dear Triond,

I have no idea how your payment system works, or where you found the websites you’ll publish my articles upon. I am clueless as to how my article only got 8 views, or why I recieved $0.01 from those 8 views. I hope that you read this letter, which explains why I believe I either am horrible at writing articles, or find a better website to publish my articles on. I know this might not even get past the submission stage, yet I still write.

I would just like you to know that I currently don’t have a job. There is no one to blame this for, but me. (And maybe my co-worker who said it would be hilarious to put a live chicken in my boss’ office.)I only beg that you find a better way to make money off of my articles, because I’m starving. I am about a month from my next job interview. At WalMart. I hope you understand the gravity of my situation. (Not that gravity)

I came to this website full of hope and dreams, and left with empty pockets.  I am tired of the “Your articles have gotten no views today! Why not write a some more?” message. “Why not write some more?” Triond I ask you this in return “Why not pay me some more?” Triond, being the jerks they are will probably respond by “Well, your articles suck, so you should write some more sucky articles so we can get %70 of the profit.”

Yours Truly,

Jorge Coello

(If you didn’t understand if this was supposed to be satire read Paragraphs 1-3.)