Walking with Certainty Keeps Us Humble

What do you know for sure? Do you walk with certainty? I’ve done a lot of thinking about what’s certain, what’s real, and what’s true. I know for sure I don’t want to be anyone else right now. My life as a writer keeps me fulfilled and happy. I think it takes a lot of failures to succeed in anything even writing. I think this is because we get mixed up with what we need and what we want. We often mimic others before finding ourselves. Our expectations can be somewhat dangerous if we’re in a hurry to succeed. You can’t control everything. There’s no money in poetry, but then there’s no poetry in money either. I never had any doubts about my abilities. I knew I could write. I just had to figure out how to eat while doing this. Writing is its own reward. At times, you just have to sit back and let time take its course. Eventually there comes a time when we have to start trimming back our expectations. Everyone assumes that as you age your feelings of competition dissipates, but they don’t. No matter how old I get I want to succeed. I want to be worthy. I want to be noticed and appreciated for my abilities. Absolute certainty is not something I strive for anymore. I’ve learned the hard way that destiny finds our expectations amusing. It’s not amusing to us to have our dreams and hopes stripped away. It is not amusing to be a failure. Julie Freischlag, MD, says “Human beings are unbelievably strong and terribly hopeful about what’s going to happen next. Though everyone’s faith is different, I’ve seen that people have faith in goodness. And whenever they get to the end of life, that goodness takes over. They believe that when they leave this world, a peace will come.” Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating you. All we have to decide is what to do with the things we are given.

I try very hard to go easy on firm conclusions. These days I settle for feeling only 50 percent sure about most things most of the time. That keeps me humble. I know for sure no one looks me like my mom or my kids. No one says my name like my husband. No one watches me like my Yorkies. I know for sure we can depend on the wisdom of artists and writers when their aim is to bring joy to others. I know for sure to be helpful to others, we need willing hands and feet. To succeed, Michael Caine says “Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.” I know for sure you can make a little Eden of the sphere you occupy if you rid your mind of selfish motives, be straight and true. Let your thoughts be clean and kind. I know for sure we need to accumulate wisdom in the scrapbook of our heart, live to learn and learn to live. I know for sure if you wish the world were happy, scatter seeds of kindness all around, think without confusion, clearly, and love your fellow-man sincerely.

If you want to walk with certainty, walk this way:

Below is one of my favorite poems by Myrtle May Dryden:

“Forget the slander you have heard,
Forget the hasty unkind word,
Forget the quarrel and the cause,
Forget the whole affair because
Forget it is the only way;
Forget the storm of yesterday,
Forget those with the sour face,
Forget and smile in any place,
Forget the trials you have had,
Forget the weather if it’s bad,
Forget the knocker, he’s a freak,
Forget him seven days a week,
Forget you’re not a millionaire,
Forget the gray streaks in your hair,
Forget wherever you may roam,
Forget when traveling or at home.”

Writers don’t pretend to have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about. We write entirely to find out what we’re thinking, what we’re looking at, and what we see and what it means. What we want and what we fear. The important thing is not to stop questioning. I know with certainty, we can make our lives sublime one step at a time, well placed, if we walk with humility. I know for sure one seed at a time the forest grows; one drop at a time a river flows; one word at a time a great book is written and one word at a time the book is read. I know for sure the harder we work the more luck we seem to have. I know God sells us all things at the price of the labor.