Top 10 Reasons Not to Write Your Autobiography

Media loves to tell biographies of people, either famous or that have an interesting story. Biographies and autobiographies are published daily and there is always a biography on television somewhere at any given time of day.

As a writer I have heard many people say “I could write a book about my life” to which I have always replied “I can’t, nothing has ever happened, I’d have to make stuff up.” So, based on that here is a list of the top 10 reasons why you shouldn’t write a book about your life:

1. It’s boring. Face it, people want drama and intrigue and juicy gossip. If you can’t give this to the public, then perhaps you should put the pen down.
2. It’s too incriminating. They say “confession is good for the soul” but some things don’t have a statute of limitations or have a long shelf-life. If you think that your book will get you arrested, you probably don’t want to write it.
3. It’s too weird. Yes, things in this life can still be “too weird” for the general public. If you think you are an alien or Napoleon in a past life, you probably won’t find a big market eager to read your story. Try blogging about it instead.
4. You’re a “nobody.” It is hard for writers to break into print, and even harder for the average Joe to get an autobiography published. Unless you are a celebrity or serial killer, you are most likely not going to see your life in print or as a Lifetime movie.
5. Your book title is: “My Autobiography for Dummies.” The “For Dummies” books are very popular with a wide range of titles. But if you are planning on writing your life story in this fashion, perhaps you had better buy “Writing for Dummies” instead.
6. You’re in it for the free copies. If you are writing your book only so you can get a free copy to use to hold up a leg of your coffee table or as a cheap Christmas gift to everyone on your list, you probably shouldn’t write a book.
7. You have amnesia. If you can’t remember anything prior to last week, you probably don’t want to write a book about your life since it will be a very short book.
8. You have short-term memory loss. If you can’t remember anything in the short-term past, you probably don’t want to write a book. In fact, you probably won’t remember that you are writing one so it really doesn’t matter.
9. You have multiple personality disorder. Writing a book about your life with MPD might be very confusing, and who knows what sabotage the other personalities might do to the book. Although, with MPD you could write a series of books, each one detailing the other personalities’ lives.
10. You just can’t write. Let’s face it, not everyone has the skills to write well. Just because you can make out a shopping list, doesn’t mean you can write a book. Try making an airplane out of that printer paper instead.