The Artist’s Way Week #9

Week #9: Recovering a Sense of Compassion

Week 9 found us facing the internal blocks to creativity: Fear, Enthusiasm, and Creative U-Turns. We examined how we could blast through the blocks.

Fear is a major block. What are we really afraid of? Afraid of failure or success?

Enthusiasm wanes due to lack of discipline and Creative U-Turns are, again, excuses we make for ourselves to not do what we should due to doubt or lack of confidence.

Any resentment I have towards my novel is due to the editing process and a few bits of advice which left me doubting myself. I am afraid I will not be able to make this novel longer than a novella, that adding more will seem like filler. I am afraid that the sex scenes are too graphic and go against my Christian values and that deleting them altogether will take away from the message I want to convey.

I am afraid I will never finish my novel.

We were to review what we have gleaned so far answering the questions: What have I consistently been complaining about? What have I procrastinated on? What have you allowed yourself to change or accept?

I am happy to have been able to pinpoint the blockage towards my novel and I explored some more ideas for the sub-plot.

I am happy to have explored different creative outlets.

My biggest complaints have been about the demands of my family on me preventing me to do what I want. I don’t know whether I am sabotaging myself or whether life is sabotaging me. I must learn to prioritize and put aside a certain time each day for writing. I do all I have to do and then come the end of the day I am too tired to write or edit. I need to put writing ahead of other things. I have not missed a day of writing morning pages, but as I look at all that I do in a day I realize I have to make changes. Some things have to go completely.

I created some goals. I will have my novel finished and out to publishers and agents by the end of the year. I plan to have the edits done by April 1st. I must de-clutter my work space.

Unfortunately I have been dealing with a lot of fatigue lately and not accomplishing much of anything. However, one evening, despite the fatigue, I did some exercising on Wii Fit and found myself not as tired afterwards. Exercise is another priority I have to make in my life, as well as getting a decent amount of sleep every night.

Affirmations:

My novel is a priority.

I am God’s child. I have an obligation to treat myself well.

Taking care of myself is a priority.

I can do it.