Seven Effective Ways to Write a Horrible Article

I was sitting in front of my computer and was thinking of writing an article about Hepatitis A. Using my medical books for reference, I scribbled and typed my draft. It took me an hour to realize I just can’t make a good article on Hepatitis A. It’s a lot better and easier to talk about things we’re good at like ways to write a horrible article where I don’t need a reference book at all and just let ideas flow, such as this one. Here goes the effective ways to write a horrible article.

1.       Wash Plates for 12 Hours Before Writing
Washing plates is a physical activity where your hands get wet and bubbly. Spend 12 hours on that and you’re sure to have trembling and clumsy hands for scribbling and typing. Also, it gives you time to reminisce the past, in which your mind becomes open for anything that goes. This gives a high probability of being inspired to write about horrible things like a recent break up, death of a loved one, etc. However, since you become too emotional, you’ll never be able to finish a piece.

2.       Listen to Ballroom Medley
Listening to ballroom medley lets you dance to the music and think of the lyrics of the songs played rather than of the content of your articles. It also facilitates foot and finger tapping. How long does it take to finish just one article? Forever.

3.       Let your 2-year old Cousin Roam
Try letting a toddler wander about in a room with your laptop and reference books on top the table with the wire connections attached from your laptop to a 7-feet-away socket and with your newly-folded linens placed on a 2-feet high table. You’ll end up following the toddler’s every move and chasing a running and laughing kid.

4.       Listen to Screams of Impatient Retirees and of a 2-year Old
Due to the kid’s activities, grandmothers tend to lose patience and scream. The only remedy is placing the kid back to his big crib. The playful toddler, then, cries out loud. Listen to that and you’ll never be more focused, not with writing though.

5.       Answer Interrupting Cell Phone Calls
What happens when an aunt calls and discusses the financial crisis your family is experiencing right now? Surely, you’ll never be more focused in writing a horrible article.

Go ahead and follow these 5 simple steps and you’re on your way to making horrible articles. Yikes!