Pen Pal Writing: The Art of Friendship and Love Through Writing

Pen pal writing is one of the most prolific hobbies around. You can make a new friend or even find a new love through the art of exchanging letters. People who engage in this hobby usually find out new and interesting things about countries they’ve never been to and it’s like you’re getting exposure to a new culture just by writing to the actual person who lives there.

I have been doing this for more than 20 years off and on in grade and throughout high school resuming the hobby in college. It’s great if you like people and want to engage in new and interesting things and even getting some really cool stationery and even stickers. There’s a disadvantage to this as well it’s attracting some strange characters from countries in Africa and Southeast Asia with men and some women who are using pen pal writing as a means to find a spouse or someone to send them money.

So be very careful about who you’re writing to because most of these countries in Africa or Asia are poor and many see pen pal writing as an opportunity to snag someone from a resource rich country like the United States or places in Europe. African and Asian writers tend to use poor grammar and don’t speak English very well and aren’t very well educated. If you see anything referring to exchanging gifts (within the first 2 letters) or sending money discontinue writing because you’ll know it’s a scam.

A real pen pal will not ask you for money or gifts, and will take the time to get to know you and a true pen pal will not stop writing after 1-2 letters, if you can’t continue to write to someone at least have the decency to be honest with them because not saying anything and hoping they’ll understand in a non-verbal sense is inconsiderate and rude. If you know your priorities don’t permit you to write as much don’t take on any more pals until your time permits you to commit to writing more people.

When you put out an ad for a pen pal be specific in what you’re looking for so you don’t end up with people who aren’t fitting of your lifestyle choices. For example meaning if you are gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans-gendered post your ad in the appropriate category or if you are into certain lifestyles find like minded people who fit that criteria. There are hundreds of sites out there that tailor to many different kinds of people of age and ethnic backgrounds.

Also be honest about your marital status because you will from time to time have married people looking for people on the side to write to for other means. This can be an enjoyable hobby if the people involved are committed to writing. Develop good communication with your pen pal because most pen pals will understand if you fall behind on writing due to other things going on in your life. It’s about respect and consideration for that other person.

You can go on
Google
and pull up hundreds of sites out there, but I can recommend 4 good ones like
Maarten’s Pen Pals
,
Pen Pals Now
, and
Sassassociations
(free pen pal sites), and Transatlantic Pen Friends – This one is based in San Pedro, California and you can send a SASE (Self addressed stamped envelope) and they’ll send you an application and you pay a small fee and in return you’ll get a fat envelope full of pen pals from the UK to Japan and you get like 40+ names, and I recommend them since I wrote to a few people on there until they eventually stopped writing for whatever reason, but you can get a lot for such a small fee. Their address is: Transatlantic Pen friends Post Office box 2176, San Pedro, California 90731. I’ve corresponded with pen pals from all over Europe through transatlantic pen friends and currently I am writing to people in Greece, Czech Republic, Singapore, Peru, France, Italy and some in the United States.

Part of being a pen pal is also being open-minded to exploring other cultures and ethnic backgrounds as well. If you’re one of those people who tend to stick to their own then this isn’t the hobby for you because you should have a willingness and a sense of maturity to open your mind up to learning about another country, ethnic backgrounds, languages, cultural traditions. Part of breaking the barrier of the racial divide in the world is to be willing to open yourself to learning about the diversity of the world.

This is one of the most fun and interesting hobbies around and it’s a small world if you can share common interests with people from a different culture and country. It’s kind of like finding your own little adventure inside your email or postal mailbox. In writing to someone you are strongly suggested to using a post office box because you don’t want to make your home address public if you choose to do postal letters to pen pals this is to protect your safety and security because as stated earlier in this article you got a lot of foreigners who prey on innocent people using pen pal websites for money or possibly conning someone into marrying them for entrance to your country. You have to be extremely careful when you’re writing to someone outside of your native country.

If you exchange pictures make sure it’s a recent picture (older pictures don’t help if you’ve gained or lost weight or changed things about yourself) of just you alone without your spouse/partner or friends because you want to keep your personal life private unless you find it appropriate to discuss certain things. Females should be aware of men who write to them and it’s up to them to say whether you’re married or involved and make sure you’re clear with that so men aren’t getting the wrong idea and are told in the door that you have a husband or boyfriend and are not looking for a relationship.

Men should be aware too that foreign women especially ones from poor countries like Vietnam, Africa, Singapore, Mexico or places that are underdeveloped in some areas are seeking innocent American or European men because they’re seeking someone who’s financially secure and are in dire need to marry for such means be very careful of the mail order bride deal because most of the women who do begin as pen pals are using that as a means to find a husband because where they live doesn’t offer them the opportunity to meet quality men from their own country and are even looking to gain citizenship especially into the United States.

Always be clear with your pen pal and if they get aggressive because you’re not going to assist them with things discontinue writing because a friendship goes beyond the monetary, this is a hobby that costs very little to maintain the only expense is if you do postal stamps and fancy stationery and be very clear on your ad to inform your potential pen pals that you are looking for serious people to write to you and emphasize that people who stop writing after 1-2 letters are not serious writers.

A serious writer is committed to being a pen pal and will show you the courtesy to tell you when they may not be able to write or informing you if a situation happened in their personal life. Being a pen pal brings a lot of new and interesting experiences and as Disney put it “It’s a small world, after all”.