Not Acceptable Examples

A friend of mine was writing fairly tame articles about diet.  Out of nowhere came this fanatic who advocated an immediate and complete switch to a vegan diet.  My friend, thinking this was a reasonable person mentioned the problems, the failures of too abrupt change. 

The fanatic blasted that her ‘husband’ was able to do it, proceeding to expound as if her husband was a perfectly acceptable example of how easy it is to go from the KFC/Burger King to strict vegan overnight.

Using one’s husband or wife or children as examples is always embarassing.

Firstly, one’s partner either ‘converts’ to ‘please’ you, (how many guys/girls find themselves marching for some cause they haven’t a clue about because their boy/girl friend is marching?) or pretends to convert to deceive you.

The key feature is ‘you’, not the cause. 

This may be a person who couldn’t care less about animal rights, global warming, or what is on his dinner plate. He does what you ask him to do to prove to you how much he loves you. 

Further what he really does and what he says he does may be two different things.

Hence a guy ‘quits drinking’ to please his wife, but may be sneaking a few beers when she’s out.  Hence a wife quits smoking to please her partner, but can be found on the roof, at various points of the day, enjoying a cigarette.

Secondly, because of emotional investment in a partner one will believe the most unbelievable.  Hence a guy who goes abruptly from eating meat two or three times a day to  vegan and experiences no health problems,  no discomfort, no change in bowel movements hasn’t quit eating meat, he’s just made his wife believe it.

His wife, so certain that he’s being truthful will proclaim, with the hysteria of a zealot, that anyone can do it, and refuse to even imagine that maybe, just maybe, one person is not a useful statistic.

When one uses examples, look for universals.  How many try to quit smoking and fail. How many need certain ‘aids’ .   How many quit for awhile then go back.  Those who have quit for over ten years are the better examples, and most will describe how many times they tried before and failed.

Those who ‘change’ because of a partner can never be tallied into the result.