How to Avoid Writing That Book You’ve Always Wanted To Write

It seems that every Tom, Dick and Henrietta have a book, a novel, a synopsis, limerick or script lurking deep down inside their very soul. What I have come to realise is that if everyone in the world has got a piece of writing inside than do you really want to go with the flow, become a sheep and write, write, write just like all of them? Does this scare you? Is there a widespread fear of words tying knots and twisting knives in your belly? If I correctly heard the answer yes peep out quietly from your mouth than what better way to get cure your fear – avoid writing! Here are six perfect ways to start now:

1. Do the washing up, in fact why stop there clean the kitchen the bathroom, dust that bookshelf you haven’t done in months, vacuum the floor and organise a council pick-up for all that rubbish you are finally clearing out of the spare room
2. Go to the gym for an hour or more, even if you only sit on the bike pedalling slower then a snail and check out the talent. You might not be writing but hey your body’s going to look good!
3. Take the dog for a walk, or for lack of a dog take the cat or the rabbit or even let your pet frog jump around the house and spend hours trying to find where it’s landed. Best way to avoid is to commit to these mindless activities.
4. Read a book. All the experts will tell you that the best way to learn how to write is to read a lot. So do what they say and read a lot, read so much that you never have time to write even if you learn how. Even better watch movies that are based on books, I mean if you are going to do something – even avoidance – you might as well do it well!
5. Surf the net for motivation to write. Read other authors rants about not writing and why they don’t write all the time reminding yourself that hey – you are not writing a thing baby!
6. Last of all hide all the pens in the house, also all the blank paper, moleskins notebooks, notepads, index cards, don’t have a shortcut to word or any of your stories on the desktop of the computer, let the printer un out of ink, play angry music so loud your ears bleed and you can no longer concentrate. Set up an atmosphere around your desk that will not only help you to not write but maybe even turn you off it for good – because that is the very reason you are avoiding writing – isn’t it?