Erotica for Men or Women?

It has been said that when it comes to sexual arousal, men act on what they can see and women on what they can feel. That is of course a huge sweeping statement and there may be exceptions for both sexes. However, when it comes to erotic writing, literature which is aimed at women is generally soft core which focuses on arousing the senses. Hard core erotica aimed at men often zooms in on the action with hardly any background, visual description, build of tension or attention to feelings. Women usually need the soft lighting, relaxing aromas and soft touches to build up arousal whereas men can go straight for the action.

 I suppose this is all biological, women are the child bearers and therefore need to be in touch with feelings, whereas the male is predominantly more interested in hunting and fire gazing! A predator with little use for roses and boxes of chocolates!

We have established that the senses play a big part in arousing a woman. The literature should play on sights, sounds, smells and what she can hear, perhaps even taste in some cases. Bird song, a gurgling brook, lime blossom… These things create a whole world of feminine fantasy.

Tension and back story are important in soft core erotica and I was made very aware of this recently when I read the work of another fellow eroticist. The story gave a good background into the character’s lives and their motives etc. It did not rush to the action but built up the tension slowly with vivid visual images of the characters and their gently unfolding passion for each other. It made me look at my own work and realise I wasn’t doing enough leg work. Reading back over some of my old stories I found that the ends came to abruptly leaving the reader feeling unsatisfied, whereas what I had read from another writer kept the tension going until the final crescendo.

Characters need to be believable and not cardboard cut-outs! A woman reader may want to place herself in the shoes of your character and so the more you can say that she can relate to, the better.

The reader looks for escapism and in my opinion erotica should be filled with glamour. The clothes should be expensive, elegant and sexy; the location should lend itself to sensuality, for example an Exotic Thai Spa retreat, Paris or Venice. All of these locations ooze romance and decadence. I’m not saying you should never write about the sweaty plumber in the damp London tenement, but good luck with it. I for one am not inspired to read on. My mind is already conjuring up the cockroaches and watching I don’t lie on the damp spot!

So far I have looked at the requirements of different audiences. Another thing to be aware of in erotica is the terms used for body parts. I have discussed previously in my article The Mystery of Erotica, the use of the word c**t. I would definitely not expect, or want to see the word in soft porn though I know writers who do use it. In my opinion its use is bordering on degradation and has no place in erotic writing, mainly because it is a term of profanity.

You won’t see dictionary technical terms for genitals in erotica! In soft porn more appropriate names vary from slang to metaphorical variants of what is being described. For example you might see the word pussy, slit, opening or innuendos such as lotus, snake, garden and so forth.

Looking at the needs of the audience you are writing for is important with any genre and I hope that this has helped to highlight the ways men and women respond to erotic writing.