Do I Want to be Famous?

When I started on line writing, I was a little held back. I admit, I was wondering and twisting. My English was not that great and I know I still have some to polish articles here.

As as kid I always wanted to be a writer. I longed to get published, but that dream kind of slipped away, when I saw the self published books I produced. My writings were bad. My ideas and my story lines got the great critics, but my language was horrible.

I have some drafts in Dutch I do not even dare to edit, since I even forgot what I meant to say and cannot figure it out myself either.

But another thing also stopped me: what if I do become a best selling author. My knees started shaking. Can I handle fame?

I am a quite shy person. You may not tell, because I do get loud. Trust me, I am always the loudest in the company. I entertain my own way, because I … actually do not know how to strike a pose, to be honest.

A couple of years ago I started posting on Internet fora and communicating with other, being anonymous, made me feel at ease.

Soon I figured out that there were others threatening me, calling me names, even a threat to society because of my opinion, despite the fact I did state that I meant certain things sarcastic, or that I played a devil’s advocate.

My husband also warned me that I would end up in jail for my opinion if I continued to spread it, since here in Belgium we do not have freedom of speech and certain opinions can get you jailed. Yes, Belgium is so overly political correct that even xenophobia is considered a crime.

So I became even less certain of myself. In the end I did not even dare to write anymore, till I found out that you have trolls everywhere. Yes, people that read you wrong, just because they like to downgrade you.

I realized that if wanted to become a writer, I might become a public figure. Yes, I am quite a public figure here and it made me wonder: can people legally charge me for what I write?

In my country you can easily be charged for racism, slander and defamation. I am sure the Belgian State Security will have a file on me and some writers did get jailed for their opinions.

But would it stop me to write? Personally I feel that if something is the truth, I must tell it. I use my own name and people who know me, know the people I write about.

Is this slander? Well, this is another thing: if you are a celeb you might consider that you have to give up some of your privacy.

You become some kind of role model and if you get caught drinking and driving, they will report on it. If the facts are true, you should not complain.

If you hurt me and I report on that, well … I can proof that what I write is true. And I will not mention names without consent.

So if you want to become an artist, you have more chance that you become famous. Can you handle it? If you doubt yourself, maybe that is the most healthy attitude.

Can fame change a person? I am sure. But if you are not capable of considering you might become a celebrity, you might not start anything.

Think of Susan Boyle. She makes it clear that we can all be star, even if we do not expect it ourselves. She has the talent and the voice, so lets hope she sets the new standard.

I may think I write crap and I am sure I do and maybe I will just remain an anonymous hobbyist, but despite the fact I have sixth sense, I have learned that fate can have a strange twist and you often get just the things you might not long for.