Annoying Movie Cliche #8 “Something Was Chasing Me!”

Welcome to the long awaited part eight of the series where I analyze, neigh rant on, an annoying movie cliche that I may think of at that moment in time. If you missed the previous cliche, please feel free to catch up on the series, and trust me you want to, by clicking here. All of us have have had a feeling that we were being watched at some point or another, making us feel a little uneasy, and a little unsafe. Perhaps we acted on that feeling, and decided to run from whatever was looking at us. The action makes us feel safe and secure, even if we’ve only ran a few feet away from our fears. Hollywood knows that we all have had this feeling at one point, and so they have taken this concept, and stretched it like a fat man in a speedo.

“There is a giant *waves hands* thing behind us! It was chasing me! *hysterical crying as someone else tries to dismiss it as a bird or cat*”

Now this plot line has been used more than napkin during a BBQ at Sony’s, and tends to be found in Science fiction style movies. The idea here is that there is a group of young men and women, usually accompanied by at least three or four adults, mostly male, except for the hero’s lover, or future lover. There are times that directors will employ the use of only younger people, while at other times they decide to go the older route; either way they go, it is always the same situation that arises: For some reason, one of the girls decides to stray from the rest of the group, usually throwing off her clothes for no real reason aside from giving a sexual appeal to the viewers, and promptly discovers that there is something in the corner of her eye. Now at this point, she does the smart thing that she’ll probably forget how to do later in the movie: she runs for her life. A side question: Why is it that most characters that have shown that they have athletic ability decide to just stand there when the creature appears? It’s as if they are saying “Here I am! Come eat me! I’m too startled to actually get out of the way!” It’s sad to think that someone, who is used to confrontation, has a fight-or-flight response that favors feeding the monster. But I find myself digressing once again.

The female is running for her life, when she suddenly runs into one of the younger males in the group, whom she tells that there is a creature chasing her. Now instead of doing the smart thing that any one of us would do and get the heck out of dodge, he does the exact opposite: he goes searching for the thing! I don’t know about you, but if someone is crying and half naked in front of me saying that something is has been chasing her, well then dang it, we are getting out of there! First she may have to repeat herself, my mind may be a bit preoccupied. As the male goes to look for the creature, it is maybe twenty seconds tops before he is dismantled faster than Forest Gump disassembles his rifle. Of course, the girl sees everything happening, and elects NOT to tell the guy that there is a giant creature that happens to be standing behind him. The girl decides to run once again, where this time she is found screaming by the group. She tells the group in broken English that “S-s-s-something is chasing me! Johnny no Johnny!” Now ignoring the fact that Johnny was just completely destroyed by a creature that was following her not thirty seconds earlier, the hero of the movie decides to back-track for a moment to find Johnny. The hero returns without finding a trace of the boy, and decides that he is playing a prank, and little miss running girl’s brain has played tricks on her.

I am not a psychologist, and I don’t claim to know the human brain, but is it really in our nature to think “Oh its probably nothing” when we hear that someone in our group was killed by a wild creature? Personally, if I heard that, I would lead the group back the way we came into the area in one large group, no splitting up for this cowboy. The dumbest thing that you could possibly do if a giant science fiction style creature is following you is to split up: they love to attack small groups, but won’t show itself to the larger group until everyone has seen the creature at least once. Its just the creature’s way of formally introducing itself before it eats your face off. Once a few more people die in the group, probably from splitting up or something of the sorts, our hero and his gang find themselves in a cabin, or a building of some sort, where they believe they are safe. It becomes all too obvious that they aren’t safe, and another person is usually off-ed right here. One of the last two people to die is usually the initial girl that ran in the beginning- she forgets that there is such a thing as running, and stares the creature lovingly in the face, where it promptly tears hers off like a friend ripping off a band-aid. The final person to die in these movies is usually the person who thought that they could either harness the power of the creature, or was here with the group for other purposes. It is found out that the person is here for these reasons, and he is usually left to be dealt with by the creature, as the hero almost tauntingly tries to help him.

Getting back to the cliche, the idea here is that Hollywood believes that we are all stupid for running when we are being chased. Apparently if you run from something, its because you imagined that you were being chased by something, and there was never anything there. That’s why the character always says “it was probably your imagination!” I’ll keep that in mind the next time I’m being chased by a Lion. That bear chasing you in the wild isn’t your imagination, and you should probably try to get away from there as soon as possible. Now Science-fiction writers seem to get a hard-on whenever someone in a movie decides that they are tired of living, and makes each individual’s death more gruesome than even Hannibal Lecter’s victims. So a tip to everyone out there: If a half naked woman runs up to you completely in tears screaming “there is something chasing me! It got Johnny!” then you should run for your life. Remember, it always pays to have slow friends when you’re being chased by a murderous creature, and yet Hollywood never thinks to add that. My advice to Hollywood: Just once, let the group believe the hysterical girl that was literally spooked out of her clothes, maybe the rest of the group will remember common sense when they see it and run, instead of lining up and preparing themselves in a dish at Olive Garden. This particular cliche may not have been done too well, and for that I apologize, as I am a little rusty on my sarcasm! If you have any comments, concerns, or opinions, please feel free to share, and as always, thanks for reading!