Advice on Writing a Character of the Opposite Sex

Writing a character of the opposite sex can be a challenge – even to the greats. How many times have you read a book by an author of a certain sex to find that the characters of the opposite sex aren’t believable? All the men in one novel will be overly sympathetic and sensitive (which a man can be, but a large number of men aren’t) and in another, the women will be cold, analytical creatures, or else overly emotional and prone to weeping at the drop of the hat.

It’s difficult – there’s no way around it. However, it’s not impossible. When you know how to approach writing the opposite sex, it suddenly becomes an easy thing to do.

The first tip is to start small. If you’re a woman, look at the men in your life. Look at them honestly from every angle. What makes them tick? How do they approach and solve problems? How do they look at the world? If you’re a man, look at the women in your life in the same manner. Observe them objectively and honestly. A fun way to do this is to spend time alone with them. Gather your best friends of the opposite sex and hang out with them. Make sure you’re the only one of your sex in the group. Allow the opposite sex to absorb you and treat you as one of their own. This is a great way to get the most honest perspective of what life is like for the other sex.

Once you have finished observing the opposite sex in person, it’s time to put your learning into practice. Create a character of the opposite sex. Avoid stereotypes (such as a rugged, brooding, adventurous male and a sex-crazed she-spy) and make them as dynamic and interesting as possible. Most importantly, make them a person. By focusing on the person (and not the sex), you create a richer character, someone that your readers will care about – regardless of what gender they were born.