Talk to Each Other Tied Tongue Will Get You Nowhere..

Why it is that saying simple words can be so difficult? How intimate do you have to be speak honestly with each other?

Maybe the hurdle is bigger than it appears. Perhaps each is waiting for the other to start, and then the words will come tumbling out, helter-skelter.

The, key, the, is to begin. You can’t unravel a knot just by pulling at it. That just makes it tighter. You have to trace the strings back to their beginnings and pull them apart carefully. You can’t get frustrated if you hit a dead end. You need patience and understanding.

If the words are really struck, you might want to try writing them out first. At least a written note can be edited before it’s sent, and it will provide a road map for that conversation whenever it does begin.

It’s important not to let angry words tighten the knot. To loosen conversation, you have to be relaxed. A glass of wine might help, but not more. And try not to express more than one thought at a time or your partner may get confused.

If your tongues have been tied for a long time, expect it to take few attempts to air out what needs to be said. And never assume that a person of few words isn’t always thinking furiously. Our mind never stops, and even the most tongue-tied person has a stream of thoughts always flowing across the ticket tape of his or her brain.

Most important of all. Be sure to listen. Two torrents of words will only deafen you. So after you’ve spoken one thought, tale a deep breath, and let your ears do their job.

If you can figure out a way to enter the other person’s stream of thought, you might be able to help them let go of a flood of words. This could be as easy as posing a simple question, like “Hey, what’s on your mind?” But even if the other person doesn’t open up, recognize that whatever you say will enter his or her thoughts and trigger reactions, so you have to choose your words just as carefully when addressing someone who answers with a word or two as someone who is a motor-mouth.