Humorous Writing Advice: Scared to Publish That Memoir?

The Situation

Me: Gosh, I’ve worked on these chapters month after month. Haven’t I sweated over them? [sitting back, thinking lovingly about all the complied works]

Writing master: You’re one of my best students. Few students are as dedicated to fixing and revising their essays. You…

Me: [blushing from pleasure at the compliment] Aw shucks, I just know I work too hard, but these essays are never perfect enough! [salivating over the details] To be honest, sometimes, I read the same paragraph 50 times and then, I usually change just one word!

Writing master: I’d hate to pop your dreams, but . . . maybe that’s the problem here.

Me: [startled] Huh?

Writing master: [laughing] I just love that expression on your face. Ahem, well… Sometimes, there’s such a thing as too much revision. You could potentially revise your essay to death.

Me: [horrified] Death?! No, no!!

Writing master: [solemnly] I’m afraid so.

Me: [abruptly stands up, paces back and forth, chews fingernails, etc.] Master… What is there left to do?

Writing master: My dear, only one path lies before you?

Me: [whispers] What?

Writing master: Publish

Me: [faints in horror]

Writing master: [rolls eyes and turns back to desk, where piles and piles of grant applications are waiting to be filled out.]

The Problem

Since memoir is so personal, some writers tend to keep their material close to their heart for month after month … Then one day, they’ll realize that it’s been years since they’ve had this manuscript collecting dust. It is then that love may turn to hate at the realization of lost dreams. There they’ll be, sitting on the sidewalk, smoking that cigarette, thinkin’ of the good old days when they were admired by writing masters and peers alike… Well, perhaps this is an exaggeration, since they’ll have an amazing manuscript waiting for the right agent and publisher. However, who knows what kinds of chances are made if essays are published during the right time.

Advice

Beautiful and hard-earned writing deserves to be shared to the world instead of hoarded like a dragon’s treasures. And it’s true, endlessly revising an awesome essay may potentially destroy it. As writers improve, they’ll look back on earlier manuscripts with a deadly eye, not understanding that young, honest, seeking writer. Writers are their own worst critics, and many times, it’s a good idea to trust the writing master’s instincts, since she’s been there.

Grant applications

The grant applications are another reason to publish at every opportunity. Many writers are cursed with the struggle to find enough money to live as they write. Grant applications become their best friends. An important fact is that proven writers with published work are more likely to get the grants and to be accepted to those coveted writer’s colonies.