Simple, But a Plus Five Paragraph Essay

    Ever wondered how no matter how much time you put into the last minute for an essay, you still get a bad grade? Your content may be wonderful, but there’s a possibility you format isn’t. Think of how bored the teachers get, reading essay after essay, most likely on the same topic. It’s killer. So adding a little spice (gramatically speaking of course) will never be a bad idea.

    Let’s start at the beginning. When people talk about the topic sentence, they drone on and on about grabbing the readers attention. Honestly, grabbing anything isn’t going to be that easy when discussing Puritan lifestyles of the colonial era. But it is possible. The easiest way to grab, and possibly hold your reader’s interest is with a quote. Immediately your teacher will want to know who the quote was by, and why you said it. Now quoting Britney Spears or Maroon 5, isn’t exactly a good idea; unless the both of them started singing about Puritans and Fear of God all of a sudden. You can look up quotes online, or there are even books made up for strictly these purposes. Obviously make sure you site the author even if it’s anonymous, or your paper is pretty much shot from the beginning.

    Next is your thesis, always contained within the first paragraph. Some people like to make it the first sentence, but really, if your teacher assigned the paper chances are he or she already knows what it’s about and doesn’t need it summed up for them. Nonetheless, you need a thesis. This may or may not be the hardest part of the paper. My best advice is to leave it to the end; how are you going to sum up your entire paper, if it isn’t even written yet? Also, no one ever said that a thesis has to be short, hello?! You’re summing up an entire paper! Don’t be afraid to throw in a comma or semicolon when needed, just be sure it doesn’t run on.

    Now for the body. One task of a paper is to grab the reader’s attention; the other is to hold it. Nothing bores a teacher more than reading fact after fact, site after site. It gets old, and your original message gets lost within that boredom. Don’t be afraid to add some humor, if anything your teacher will appreciate it. The most important thing is to NOT be brief. Elaborate, but make certain you never say the same thing twice. Omit details that repeat themselves as well as sentences the essay could just as well do without. The body of the paper is like the life of the party, you might as well be dancing in the dark without one. METAPHORS ARE NOT EXTINCT! It’s true! It’ll cause your reader to stop and think to realize the relationship between the two things; which believe it or not, its a very good thing! A break from all that reading for a little critical thinking can do nothing but good. Keep your objects in order, in other words don’t discuss something that happened in 1787 in the third paragraph and jump back to 1653 in the fourth. If you have to compare and contrast something, always start with the differences first. The similarities are probably only going to take one paragraph, and it kind of signifies the end of the paper.

    While all of these fun and games are going on, try not to forget the very basics of your essay. Make sure you know whether or not your teacher wanted double space or single, what font, what size, and of course, the margins. But don’t forget about the simple grammar. Unless you’re writing an objective essay, never use the words you, I, us, we, etc, etc. Teachers love to take points off for that, believe me. Try to use contractions as little as possible; not only will it make your paper longer, it just looks nicer. And finally, always spell check! Don’t confuse words like then and than or their and there, they’re very easy to mix up. Dictionaries still exist you know.

    At last, your conclusion. In my opinion this proves the hardest part of the paper, thesis statement aside. This is the point where I like to turn back and proofread my paper. Re-familiarizing yourself with your content is a great help to bringing it all to an end. Also, this is a common spot where the repeating begins. It’s a natural habit to want to recount everything you just said in one tiny little paragraph, but thats what the thesis is for. Whatever you do, don’t say anything you already said. If you said that cheese is made of milk in the second paragraph, chances are your teacher is hungry and will remember that. One sentence could ruin an entire paper. Time for your thesis statement placement, too. It isn’t difficult, nearest to the end is the easiest to do, as if to say: it’s really over. Being very general in a thesis is a good idea and makes it very easy to accomplish.

    Essays may be the most dull things on earth to write, but that doesn’t mean they have to be the same to read. If you do it right the first time, you have a chance that your teacher will look forward to reading your next one, which means: good job! Hopefully these tips were helpful. Maybe next time for all those poetry writers out there: we’ll talk haiku?