Point Your Story in the Right Direction

Mother wondered where Alisa was. Why wasn’t she home from

school yet?

Alisa took her time walking home from school, uncaring that

she was two hours late. Jeremy Sloan had just asked her to the

ninth grade dance this Friday. She’d had a crush on him since the

beginning of school.

Jeremy watched as Alisa headed home. Wow! Who could believe

it? The prettiest girl in school had agreed to go to the dance

with him. He’d probably have to wear a real shirt and tie.

Sam, Alisa’s basset hound, waited impatiently by the front

door. Where was Alisa? Didn’t she know that he waited for her

every day? She should be home by now.

In whose point of view was the above passage written: Mother

Alisa, Jeremy or Sam? Sadly, all of the above are true.

I know that the story belongs to Alisa. However, the reader

would be hard pressed to grasp that from the first four paragraphs.

I committed the literary sin of head-hopping, merrily jumping from

Mother’s point of view (POV) to Alisa’s POV, to Jeremy’s. Even

poor Sam, the innocent basset hound, could not escape my mind-

traveling journey.

Most children’s and young adult books are written from the POV

of the main character (the protagonist). Occasionally, the POV of

a close friend or confidant may be used. In a mystery or suspense

novel, the villain’s POV can help to increase the sense of danger.

Picture books for children up to eight years old are often

written in the third person point of view. Because the books are

read aloud to children, the children are one step removed from the

story. The “I” voice of first person POV might sound like it

belongs to the adult reader.

In determining which POV to use, it helps to understand the

common types:

First Person

The story is narrated by a character using I,

we, us. Everything is filtered through his or her perceptions.

This brings immediacy to the writing and allows the reader to grow

close to the viewpoint character. However, every word must sound

like it’s coming from the narrator’s mouth. Therefore, the

author’s voice doesn’t exist. Since the entire story is in the

narrator’s voice, the author must know this character intimately.

In addition, it can be tedious when every emotion and thought must

be relayed through this character.

Third Person Limited

In this POV, the main character is

referred to by name and “he” or “she” is used. The reader follows

one character through the story (envision a camera mounted on the

character’s head) seeing just what the protagonist sees, and

getting into the heart and mind of the viewpoint character. This

allows the reader to not only know what is happening in the story

but also to know the why of it. Everything that happens to the

protagonist seems to happen to the reader, making it the perfect

vehicle for reader-identification. Only the actions and the

dialogue of other characters can be reported (no thoughts) because

your viewpoint character can’t read their minds. Many writers find

this the most serviceable viewpoint.

Third Person Unlimited (Or Omniscient)

This is the

all-knowing POV and was commonly used in previous centuries. The

reader can see into the mind of every character and also know

what’s going on in places away from the main character. It is

frequently off-putting to modern readers and should be used

sparingly, if at all. Today’s writers avoid this POV as it gives

a remote feeling to their prose.

Reporter

This can be effective in zeroing in on the

viewpoint character. For example, “The late afternoon sun caught

the glints in Sara’s red hair” establishes that the character has

red hair, and now the narrative can move on to her thoughts and

feelings. (Unless you have a very good reason for doing so, avoid

having your character study herself in the mirror and give a

grocery list of her physical qualities.) Because this viewpoint

simply “reports” the surface facts, without delving into the

thoughts or emotions of the character, you should only use it for

a sentence or two before switching to third person limited (see

sidebar for example).

Other Thoughts on Point of View

While most children’s books stick with one viewpoint through

the whole story, it is possible to alternate viewpoints between two

or three characters. Change viewpoints at a logical place, such as

a chapter break. Make sure you choose the viewpoint of the

character who has the most to lose in a chapter or is most affected

by what is happening. It may help to read passages aloud.

You can also switch third-person viewpoints within a scene, if

done carefully. For example:

The sun beat mercilessly on the hard-baked ground. Rachel’s

skin began to pinken under its unrelenting rays. She didn’t move

from where the horse had thrown her. (Reporter, because at this

point Rachel is not awake and can’t see these things.)

Rachel woke slowly, unsure of where she was. She felt bruised

and sore. Her mare, Lucy, was nowhere in sight. Memory returned

in bits and pieces. Lucy’s fright, and then … blackness. When

she tried to sit, she realized her right arm lay at an unnatural

angle. (Third person limited–we’re inside Rachel’s head.)

Read books with viewpoint in mind. See how other authors do

it and if it works.