“Love scenes, sex scenes, romances are not just for romance novels.” People fall in love every day. It is a part of life. Therefore, no matter what type of fiction you write, if a love scene feels warranted, is part of the plot, and moves your story forward then let it happen. By all means, let it happen!

I am a romantic-suspense author and yes, I love the love scenes! I am also a huge reader of mysteries and love scenes, sex scenes, or romances do exist in them. If you do not believe me, pick up a book by Janet Evanovich, Jonathan Kellerman, John Sanford, or David Baldacci.

Now that you know a romance and/or love scene can be in any type of fiction, let us move on to some tips on writing a love scene.

Key Factors In Writing a Sizzling Love Scene

Basic elements of a love scene are:

• Place
• Emotion
• Action

 Of those elements, emotion is the most important.

“Emotion is the most important?”

“Why?”

How do the characters feel about coming together? Are your characters driven primarily by lust or a culminating love? What your characters do and where they do it, is not as important as why they do it and how it changes them and their relationship afterward.

For a love scene to be satisfying it must change the relationship between the hero and heroine. Lovemaking should deepen their commitment, demonstrate insecurities, or incompatibilities, show shifting motivations or goals or some other purpose. A love scene without emotion is just an excerpt from a sex manual. Writing a sex scene is not writing a sex manual. It is not “insert Tab A into Slot B.”

The key to a good love scene is quality, not quantity.  “Kind of like good sex, right?”

“Yes!”

A love scene is more than body parts performing a physical act. A good love scene involves chemistry, tension, dialogue, emotions, and of course, a great orgasm for both the hero and heroine.

Use ALL five of the senses. “Don’t you use all the senses when you’re making love?”

“Yes!”

Use all the character’s senses. Show sound, sight, smell, and touch, as well as the hero and heroine’s physical reactions to make their coming together emotionally dimensional. Using all the senses will pull the reader into what the characters are feeling. Remember, the reader wants to experience it too.

Don’t forget the scenery.  Are your characters sharing their first kiss in the moonlight at the ocean or the childhood bedroom of the heroine where the bed is dressed in a pink canopy and covered with stuffed animals?  What do they hear, see, and smell in the background?

Sexual tension is more important than sex itself. “The buildup makes the actual act that much sweeter.”

The characters conflict leads them to sexual tension. The hero and heroine are physically drawn to each other, but the fact that they are enemies, feuding, or in competition keep them apart.  Social constraints are another form of conflict to create sexual tension. The stronger the conflict, the higher the sexual tension and when the love scene finally does happen, it is more meaningful and exciting.  Whatever you use as a conflict to build sexual tension, make sure it is part of the plot.

Now it’s time to sit down and write the love scene. “I don’t think I can write it,” the woman in the back row says as her brow breaks out in a cold sweat.

“Yeah, it’s kind of scary revealing that much about me and my sex life.”

Whoa! The love scene is not about you, it is about your characters. It is between your characters.

How many writers love writing the love scene?

One person out of several hundred raises her hand and exhibits Arnold Horshack tendencies from the television show “Welcome Back, Kotter”. “Oo! Oo!”

I enjoy writing the love scene. More importantly, I enjoy reading them. If written well, the closest male to me enjoys the benefits of a love scene.

What I have found, is not that people do not want to write the love scene, or that they do not know the mechanics, but they are uncomfortable in writing something so intimate. They are inhibited.

“What if my parents read it?” Gasps all around. “Or my children?” “I would be so embarrassed.”

Smiling, I cleared my throat. “Um, what, you don’t think your parents know about sex?” I raise a finger before continuing. “And if you have kids, don’t you think your parents know you had sex. . .at least once?”

“But my kids,” one woman whines.

“Honey, I will bet you dollars to donuts that your kids and most others are more educated in sex than we ever were at their age. They could probably even teach us a few slang words to use.”

There is no room for your own inhibitions in writing a love scene.

Someone is waving a hand at me. “So how do I get past my self-consciousness and write a rip-roaring love scene?”

Laughter erupts all around.

Not every love scene needs to be rip-roaring. It could be lazy sex. Maybe your characters have life-affirming sex after a tragic incident. Whatever the case, make sure the sex fits the story and your characters.

Tips to writing the love scene:

• Remember you are not writing about yourself, unless of course you are writing an autobiography. You are writing about your characters! Get inside the character’s head in a love scene. How does your heroine feel? What does she enjoy? Is she a Virgin? Maybe she is a hardened vice cop.
• There is no formula for a love scene, other than, never put in a love scene unless it is vital to the plot. Believe me when I tell you that the love scene will just present itself. It does not have to be on page 6 or page 56 or even page 126 in a manuscript. It has to be pertinent. It has to move the story forward.
• In a romance, sexual experiences should be part of the plot. People do not make love out of desire, unless of course that is part of the plot. Sometimes there are life-threatening situations that push the characters together for that life-affirming sex. Sometimes it is just an opportunity that presents itself and the characters can no longer fight their desire. Whatever the case, the emotions these characters are experiencing are far more powerful than the physical act. The love scene is like any other scene in a story, it should be there for a reason, and should advance the plot.
• There are no rules or instructions when writing the love scene. It is not like the baseball euphemism. First base is kissing, second base, feel her up…. etc. You get the idea. It follows a pattern. Real life does not follow a pattern, so break out of the mold. Have your characters do things their way. Maybe there is no foreplay. Maybe that is all there is. Maybe there are handcuffs involved. If written well, the reader will love any of them.
• Use all the senses, visual, scent, touch, sounds, taste. “Don’t you use all your senses when having sex or making love?”

By using them all, you can pull the reader into what the characters are feeling. As a reader, you do not want to know that the hero put his hand there and his other thing somewhere else. The reader wants to experience his ‘work-roughened fingers rubbing over her pebbled nipple’.

• Stay with your character’s internal and external struggles in the love scene. Do not focus only on their physical urges.
• Set up conflicts, complications, and surprises for your characters that spring up from who they are, their circumstances of the time, or culture.
• Speaking of “it”, what do you call “it”?

Snickering breaks out in the room.

“I realize this is an uncomfortable topic, but let us discuss it anyway.”

What does your husband or boyfriend call “it”? Seriously. Now, turn to your girlfriend and ask her how she refers to “it”.

There are all kinds of terms that can be utilized, some that mean nothing to you and your spouse, some that are more clinical, and some that are derogatory. Most writers use implied terms without having to say something specific. Again, this should depend on your characters and the actual sex scene.

• Talking about sex, do you talk during sex? Laugh?

So do your characters.

Dialogue in sex can be useful. Use it to reveal information about your characters. Too much talking can get your characters in trouble with each other. It creates conflict between the characters or clues the reader in on the conflict between them. Talking during sex may reveal the characters attitudes toward sex and sexuality. Heck, tell a joke to lighten the mood.

• Writing a good sex scene, does not have to mean good sex. Have you ever had bad sex?

Hands go up all over the place. Of course, you have! But that bad sex can be used to move the story along, to build your characters, to let your readers experience what those two characters are feeling rather than just “doing it.”

• Push your comfort level, but do not write to someone else’s standards.

Above all, you must enjoy writing a love scene in order for your readers to enjoy it as well. Remember, fiction is fantasy. Let your imagination be your guide as you navigate your characters through their intimate experiences.

Not sure you can do all this? Still a little inhibited? See if this gives you the added incentive you need to let loose and write that love scene.

After you write it, find your spouse or special someone, and have him/her read it and see if it works for him or her. Then practice it. Enjoy!