How to Kick a Post

Kicking a post is not an activity that most people partake in on a regular basis, but learning to do it properly can come in handy in life.  

The first thing to know about kicking a post, is to make sure that you do it safely.  The untrained post-kicker has the very real potential to hurt him or herself.  Kicking the post in an uncontrolled way could seriously hurt your toes and leg.  Losing your balance during a kick could also cause you to fall which could lead in other problems.  
Here are a few things to consider before kicking a post to make sure you don’t hurt yourself:

• A post is not a football.  Pull your kick.  The skill of kicking a post does not involve kicking as hard as you can.  Remember, the object of the activity is not to knock the post over but to have a good experience kicking it.

• Wear steel-toed boots if possible.  This will give you extra protection from the post, allowing the impact to be absorbed largely throughout your foot and ankle rather than the tip of your big toe.  Also, make sure your boots are laced up properly and the boot is snug to your foot and ankle.

• Socks are also helpful for absorbing the impact.  Wearing multiple pairs of wool socks will definitely keep your toes safer than otherwise.

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  Have a friend nearby.  Having a friend around is always a good idea.  In case something goes wrong and you get injured, a friend will able to call 911 or help you limp to safety.

To reiterate, safety should be your first and foremost consideration when kicking a post.  If you have the safety aspect covered, you can move on to seeking out a post to kick.

Find a Post
Obviously, different people have different preferences when it comes to the size, type, and composition of the post they want to kick.  In this area you have a lot of opportunity to customize your experience.  The variety of kick-able posts is truly endless.  Here’s a list of some of the most common ones:

• Wooden fence post, commonly found out in the country on farms or along county roads.
• Solid Concrete Parking posts, often painted bright yellow.  You can frequently find these in cities.
• Traffic sign posts.  These can be found pretty much anywhere there are roads.  Stop signs, speed limit signs, street signs; the exact sign is not important, but the post is.  These posts are often much narrower than concrete or farmyard fence posts, but are made of steel so they should be able to hold up to a good kick.
• Power Poles.  These are actually poles, but they are pretty much the same as a typical post.  Mostly wood, these posts can be found frequently in the country and sometimes in the city, depending on your location.  Due to their size, these make good kicking posts.

Another thing to keep in mind in locating a post to be aware of the owner of the post.  Kicking somebody’s post without permission could land you in a lot of trouble, as you could easily be misinterpreted as attempting to destroy property.  To avoid this issue, make sure you get permission from the owner before kicking a post.

Discreteness
Once you’ve found your post and have gotten permission to kick it, you’re almost ready to go.  There is just one last thing you should consider before proceeding.  As kicking a post is not a typical socially acceptable activity, you may want try and be discrete.  That is, aside from your friend, you should avoid kicking posts when people are watching.  This is mostly to protect yourself from the indignant stares of the passing public.  You do have a reputation to maintain, after all, and  kicking a post is not going to help you out on that front.  

Also, even after getting permission to kick a post, there may be those that still think you’re trying to destroy property, such as local law enforcement.  So to avoid any embarrassing misinterpretation and possible jail time, try and be as discrete as possible.

As long as you keep these points in mind, you’re sure to have a successful post-kicking experience!