The Hilarious Tale of Misplaced Modifiers

We use adjectives, adverbs, phrases, or clauses as modifiers to describe a subject. Modifiers must be placed close to the term it modifies; if misplaced, they attach themselves to an entirely wrong subject and produce unintended, if hilarious, meanings. Consider “The staff reporter wrote an article on sex trafficking in his office.” Is the sex trafficking going on at the reporter’s office? Or is the reporter sitting at the office writing an article on sex trafficking? Assuming the latter is true, we can see the need for rewriting the sentence as: “In his office, the reporter wrote an article on sex trafficking.” The sentence “The young boy was walking the dog in the night pajamas” most probably doesn’t refer to a dog in night pajamas; the ambiguity has been caused by the wanderlust modifier that has strayed away.

One of the oft misplaced words is ‘only’.  The sentence “I only see Ingmar Bergman’s movies” (and not talk about or enjoy those movies) would not have sounded very complimentary to Bergman who passed away last year. He might have been more pleased to read “I see only Ingmar Bergman’s movies” ( and nobody else’s). Similarly, “I eat only vegetables” and “I only eat vegetables” imply different things.

On a similar note, a misplaced almost, even, hardly, nearly, often, can cause the intended meaning to change. He nearly ate a whole box of chocolates could mean the poor guy never got around to eating them at all, whereas He ate nearly a whole box of chocolates means he was able to eat almost the entire contents of the box, save a little.

When I read recently an article that said “The following are the tips to protect women from the police department”, it took me a little while to realize the tips were issued by the police department. But knowing the fine reputation of Indian police, I wouldn’t have been surprised somebody thought of providing tips to women to escape the rapacious police.

Here’s a similar howler. “The blazing fire engulfing the slums was extinguished before much damage was done by the fire department.”

Does it leave you wondering when you read “When a five-year child, my mother died in a plane crash”, how a young child could have a baby who talks of her mother’s death in a plane crash? In this case, the subject of the adjectival phrase ‘when a five-year child’ is missing. It is the author of the sentence who was five-year old at the time of the crash. The modifier in this case is said to be dangling.

Consider this sentence: “Walking through the expansive zoo, my heart ached.” Is it your heart that is walking through the zoo? It is more accurate to say, “Walking through the expansive zoo, I felt an ache in my heart.” When I read, “After fifteen years in prison, the judge pardoned the convict,” I thought to myself: Oh, God, save the country that has a judge who has spent fifteen years in prison!!

As a young girl, my father sent me to the best schools in the country.

Of course, the author’s father was never a girl.

Assuming that the earth is round, it should be circumnavigable. (The earth certainly hasn’t made the assumption. “Assuming that the earth is round, Columbus thought that it should be navigable” conveys the intended idea better.

Based on my lab tests, you are pregnant.

If the above is true and the person referred as you is indeed based on some tests, it should be medical miracle. Instead, it’s a case of dangling modifiers without a subject, which should be inserted to read “Based on my lab tests, the report says you are pregnant”.

Here are some more examples of dangling modifiers. See if you can correct them.

• While driving to my village, a tree fell and hit my car.
• Running quickly in the chill snowy morning, my nose got cold.
• Turning the corner, a lion appeared suddenly on the road. 
• Quickly summoning an ambulance, the corpse was carried to the mortuary. 
• India has developed a bullet-proof jacket for soldiers made of rubber. 
• After going through the arguments, the case appeared weak.
• Relieved of your responsibilities, your home should be a place to relax.