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I Laid an Egg on Aunt Ruth’s Head

Posted on March 21st, 2009 in Grammar by nutuba
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Lie, lay, lain, lying: This has always confused me. I’m not lying.

I grew up with that adage and, to be frank, it doesn’t help me one bit.  My problem with handling the usage of the verbs lie and lay is a past tense issue.

I ask you to indulge me for a few paragraphs.  Perhaps you have mastered the wiles of lie and lay.  I have not, and I’m determined to get this sorted out in my mind.  I’ve had a mental block regarding these two particular words and their tenses all my life, and though I’ve become quite adept at finding alternative word choices, I’ve decided once and for all to rid myself of this albatross.

Hens lay, that is true.  They lay things, specifically eggs.  People can lay too.  People lay things.  I have never laid an egg like a hen lays an egg, but I might lay an egg on the kitchen counter before cooking it for breakfast.

I’m afraid that a culprit in this whole fogginess involves the famous prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep.”  You may be familiar with it.  It can be confusing.  I think I’ve got it sorted out now, however.  The grammar in the prayer is correct; it just always felt incorrect to me.

Read more in Grammar
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The verb lay is transitive, so it is an action performed on something.  You lay a plate on the table.  You are going to lay your books on the desk.  Now I lay me down to sleep.  I am laying me down to sleep.  Yes, laying yourself down is a perfectly legitimate action.  I am lying in bed, ready to sleep.

Actually I’m lying.  I am still sitting at my desk.

Perhaps another part of the problem is that we are taught as children that it is not good to lie.  We even have lie detectors to determine whether someone is lying.

Don’t tell anyone, but I was lying tonight when I played a card game with my kids.  Oh, I was truthful and told no lies, but I was lying on the floor while we played.  No lie detector detected it.

I wasn’t laying on the floor, though I did lay the cards on the floor at one point.  I’m not lying.

Okay, so get this.  I am going to lie down.  Yesterday I lay in bed.  Yes, that’s right.  The past tense of lie is lay.  Now that sounds weird. 

I have lain in bed before.  I am lying in bed.  Lie, lay, lain, lying — that’s how it goes.  I’m not lying.

What about lay?  Watch me lay the bowl of spaghetti on Aunt Ruth’s head.  Yesterday I laid two bowls of spaghetti on Aunt Ruth’s head.  I have laid as many as four bowls of spaghetti on Aunt Ruth’s head.  I am well known for laying bowls of spaghetti on Aunt Ruth’s head.  Lay, laid, laid, laying.  Yes, that’s really it. 

I’m not lying.

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Finally, if your great aunt was reclining on a piece of furniture while placing the homemade soap on the bread and was enjoying a song by Eric Clapton, but she untruthfully announced that she was enjoying a song by the Kinks, then you might say the following sentence.

“Aunt Elaine, lying on the love seat, lied when she said she listened longingly to Lola, not Layla, as she laid the lye on the loaf.”

All right friends, if you know lie versus lay, am I there yet?

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