Bad Metaphors Make Baby Jesus Cry

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Bad Metaphors Make Baby Jesus Cry

Posted on June 14th, 2009 in Style by jamie mullen

I have come across what I would describe as a epidemic spreading across this website faster than urine through an ice sculpture at my brother’s wedding.

This article is not about evolution or science like my last couple have been. But since writing my last three articles I have come across what I would describe as a epidemic spreading across this website faster than urine through an ice sculpture at my brothers wedding (at least I think that’s what happened a lot of that day is kind of a blur.)

I am talking of course about shitty metaphors and the belief that they can solve any argument no matter how bad the metaphor actually is. Of course I would not dream of just throwing this accusation around so I will give some examples “do we blame the potter if the pot breaks? or the painter if the painting smears? No. The Lord created the world perfectly, it got messed up because of the fall. If a carpenter builds me a cabinet, and it gets a crack or starts to eventually get old, I don’t blame the cabinet maker. ” Now there are two things wrong with this but the first is pretty obvious. I have never met a painter or cabinet maker or any tradesman for that matter who has ever claimed to be omniscient, omnipotent or omnipresent.

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You can bet your sweet god-fearing ass that if anyone claimed to be all these things and then the thing that they made for me broke the next day I would be pretty pissed off. A fallible product is the outcome from a fallible maker.

Now in order to tell you about the second thing you should know that I made my own crappy analogy some time back and I apologise for that my only excuse is everyone else was doing it. ”One variation will not but no one is saying that it takes many variations and millions of years for evolution to make a change of species. An interesting analogy would be religion how Judaism begets Catholicism which begets Lutherans and so on until you get something like Mormonism which is pretty damn different.” Now I was shot down immediately for the fact that religions are not living organisms and rightfully so but I would like to share another quote with you that is similar to the first one see if you can spot the problem.

“Similarity (“homology”) is not an absolute indication of common ancestry (Evolution) but certainly points to a common designer (creation). Think about a Porsche and Volkswagen “beetle” car. They both have air-cooled, flat, horizontally-opposed, 4-cylinder engines in the rear, independent suspension, two doors, boot (trunk) in the front, and many other similarities (homologies). Why do these two very different cars have so many similarities? Because they had the same designer!

It’s the same thing in regards to the similarities between humans and chimps”

Now I think we can agree that the world is split in to two groups things that are man-made and things that are not man-made. Whenever someone wants to claim that divine creation is the only logical theory they usually reference something man-made completely forgetting the majority of things that are not man-made because apparently it’s self evident that god made those.

When you really think about it very little humans make can be compared to what we find in nature either in design or sophistication. Now the argument that is made next is that of course everything is better in nature because god is better than us but as we saw in the first quote god is not the consummate craftsmen his reputation would have you believe.

The fact of the matter is that things in nature are not only better but inherently different. Nothing we make reproduces or has an immune system but they do break and die eventually so if you were creating something from scratch and you were perfect would you not sacrifice a little complexity for a longer shelf life. I think the problem here is essentially a lack of imagination, we live in a universe that is vast and scary and it operates on a set of rules that we do not completely understand and we cannot imagine anything coming into being without conscious thought because that is how we do it and we cannot imagine it being done any other way.

The last quote I am going to show you is not technically a metaphor but it does fall under the category of flawed logic as do all the other quotes in this article (including mine.)”Intelligence Itself Proves God Exists Only Intelligence can bestow intelligence,it would be un-intelligent to think otherwise.”

Now I’m sure this was designed to sound deep and irrefutable but the fact of the matter is it does not really make sense. First of intelligence is a very ethereal thing and it really does not have a definition that would be acceptable to everyone but for the sake of argument I will give it a shot anyway. Once again there is no real precedent for saying this in the recorded history of man we have never made anything that would qualify as intelligent and as far as I know no other animal has made anything that would qualify as intelligent of course we have tried to create artificial intelligence but that has not worked so well.

So here we are back again unable to conceive something being made without a conscious action so we attribute it to a creator with motives and a sense of purpose like us only better. Which is not necessarily wrong but it definitely not un-intelligent to think otherwise.

I guess I started to rant towards the end there. My original point of this article was about metaphors and the way people miss use them as arguments in and of themselves. Metaphors can be used to spice things up essentially adding some flavour to what might be a less than interesting subject or as a short cut explanation for children or when you don’t feel like explaining everything at the time or just because you like making them some people are very good at making them up and there is nothing inherently wrong with them. But if you try to argue your point and a metaphor is all you got then you don’t have much of an argument.

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Tags: bad, God, logic, metaphors, Universe

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31 Responses to “Bad Metaphors Make Baby Jesus Cry”

Mark
June 14th, 2009 at 9:19 am

the fall happened because MAN disobeyed God Jamie, I don’t think you got that.

If MAN had followed God’s instructions to start with there would not have been a problem,period, so to blame God for man’s deliberate disobedience is wrong.

Man was created as a free will being.
P.S. from Mark
June 14th, 2009 at 9:21 am

God does not make our choices, he lets us to that because a forced choice is no choice at all
eminemgrl123
June 14th, 2009 at 11:20 am

What a shame that some people are too ignorant to expand their minds to possibilities other than their own beliefs. (What a shame most Christians think they’re smart enough to know what God is thinking!) The article was good. Keep at it.
eminemgrl123
June 14th, 2009 at 11:21 am

What a shame that some people can’t expand their minds to entertain the possibility of a truth other than their own beliefs. (What a shame most Christians believe themselves important or intelligent enough to know what God is thinking!) Good work. Keep at it.
Jonathan
June 14th, 2009 at 2:05 pm

What a shame that there are so many skeptics and scoffers in today’s world, God loves people and He just wants them to know it, dear eminemgrl, Jesus said “go ye into all the world and spread the gospel to every creature”

Christians don’t think themselves better than anyone else, we all have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory.

Jesus came that WHOSOEVER will may come unto Him and be reconciled to God. It’s an open invitation to any and all, Jesus said “All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.”

John 6:37
jamie mullen
June 14th, 2009 at 8:41 pm

Mark here is the problem with the garden of eden theory, it makes perfect sense as an allegory. Once you start to take it literally though it starts getting a little wacky. Also if it is real then god is at least partially responsible for the fall I mean really an apple tree he could not have at least made an crab apple tree and maybe put it out of the way or perhaps a turnip of knowledge. And think about it before we ate of the tree we did not have knowledge so we knew no better if a child drinks a bottle of bleach we do not chock it up to free will we blame the parent. And Jonathan I find it hilarious you are ashamed of skeptical thought while we have this conversation from god knows how far away on a COMPUTER.
Mark
June 15th, 2009 at 7:40 am

God specifically told Adam not to eat of the tree, therefore Adam did have a choice, either to obey or to disobey, he chose to disobey.

If we had never told a child not to drink bleach, THEN we would be to blame, but if we told a child not to drink bleach and they did it anyway, then that is an act of disobedience, (I can’t see why a child would drink bleach if they know better)
jamie mullen
June 15th, 2009 at 9:54 am

Wow I really really really hope you never have have kids.
jamie mullen
June 15th, 2009 at 10:03 am

Also having asked my mother who has raised four children she says there is no way in hell the child could be held responsible so what do you got?
Mark
June 15th, 2009 at 10:38 am

If someone KNOWS BETTER and does something anyway then it is disobedience, that was my point. Drinking bleach was your example not mine, if you know killing is wrong and you do it anyway, the judge is going to hold you responsible,

I said ” If we had never told a child not to drink bleach, THEN we would be to blame, but if we told a child not to drink bleach and they did it anyway, then that is an act of disobedience,”

My point was, a child would not know drinking bleach was bad unless they were told.

Adam was not ignorant, he was told eating the fruit was bad, he did it anyway so the responsibility/consequence is on him.
Jonathan
June 15th, 2009 at 10:45 am

Jamie, if someone committed a murder would you say they are accountable or would you say that society or the victim was to blame? If you’re rational at all you’d say the perpetrator is accountable.

If a child touches a flame deliberately after being told “don’t touch,it’s hot” you’d feel sorry for the child but you’d also remind them that they were warned and that for every action there is a consequence
Robert
June 15th, 2009 at 10:53 am

Let me remind everyone here,Adam was an Adult not a child,secondly as was mentioned he KNEW full well that there would be consequences for his actions.

Adults and children are vastly different, adults learn quicker, children need more correction than adults
jamie mullen
June 16th, 2009 at 2:51 am

Let me remind all of you it was the tree of knowledge that they ate from and without eating from the tree they were without knowledge and therefore unacountable. Also Adam and Eve were mentally children because they were created as adults they missed out on the learning process of being children and as I stated before they were without knowledge. And finally if a child drinks bleach after you tell it not to the judge will not scold the dead child for being disobedient he will send your ass to jail for criminal negligence. You cannot just tell a child not to do something you have to watch them.
Maybe you'll get it this time
June 16th, 2009 at 3:58 am

God did watch Adam and eve, by the way they did know not to eat from the tree, God had told them. You fail to understand the tree was not a tree of “general knowledge” it was the tree of a specific knowledge, that of Good and Evil, they had God to guide them and tell them right from wrong, but instead decided they wanted to do their own thing in blatant disobedience to God, therefore they WERE accountable
Mathias
June 16th, 2009 at 4:04 am

“This article is not about evolution or science like my last couple have been”

Is the infamous Jamie Mullen admitting {finally} that ‘evolution’ and science are 2 different things?
to Jamie
June 16th, 2009 at 4:15 am

http://www.gotquestions.org/tree-knowledge-good-evil.html
jamie mullen
June 16th, 2009 at 5:52 am

No mathias I am not but way to jump on every little thing I say.
to Jamie
June 16th, 2009 at 9:13 am

“When you really think about it very little humans make can be compared to what we find in nature either in design or sophistication”

Jamie admits both design, and also sophistication….hmm, sounds INTELLIGENT to me
Allie
June 16th, 2009 at 9:19 am

The fact that very little we make can be compared to nature should tell Jamie something but he’s ignoring it, we and nature were created by a HIGHER intelligence, God.
P.S. from Allie
June 16th, 2009 at 9:34 am

“When you really think about it very little humans make can be compared to what we find in nature either in design or sophistication”

and isn’t that a humbling thought ? Everything in nature with its design and sophistication and God loves US !
jamie mullen
June 16th, 2009 at 9:47 am

Did the last three of you even read the article?
Allie
June 16th, 2009 at 9:54 am

Yes, it was another attempt by you to scoff at the existence of God, and as I’ve often seen you do you go right to berating, we have already stated God created everything fine, it was man that made the choice to disobey God, thus forfeiting the Garden, I have seen you try to blame God but blaming him would be like blaming your mother if you killed someone.

We are all responsible for our own actions
jamie mullen
June 16th, 2009 at 10:40 am

The only thing I am scoffing at is when people say divine creation is the only reasonable answer because it is not.
Question
June 16th, 2009 at 10:53 am

I remember you were asked this before but you gave a kind of circular answer. Do you think life was a cosmic accident?
jamie mullen
June 16th, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Actually I don’t think I ever answered that before. So I’m gonna need you to define cosmic accident.
Question (again)
June 16th, 2009 at 2:39 pm

I think the term cosmic accident is self explanatory, but to be fair….I mean do you think everything is pointless or that there could actually be a reason and cause for life
AgnosticallyAtheist
June 17th, 2009 at 12:21 am

Good article. It’s just depressing that these Christians responding to you can’t come up with any good arguments. We’re just surrounded by close-minded morons, I guess.
jamie mullen
June 17th, 2009 at 3:18 am

No I do not think everything is pointless but at the same time I do not think there is some grand design for all of us written down in the book of life. But just because life does not have a predetermined meaning does not mean it is pointless.
CutestPrincess
June 21st, 2009 at 3:11 am

Visions like these make everything worthwhile
WriteEditSeek
June 25th, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Awesome article. I love the title too. You’re a creative, deep thinker and have got a great sense of humor. No wonder you’re ticking people off. Keep asking the questions. There need to be more people who are willing to.
Ruby Hawk
June 28th, 2009 at 5:44 pm

We know nothing. We are one as ignorant as the other when it comes to the spiritual or nature. We are all whistleing in the dark if we pretend to know anything at all.