A Comical Look at Breakdowns in Communication/dnc?

People who have read my articles before will know how much I enjoy writing, and my love for the English language.  I can easily lose myself in reading a book for hours or even days on end, providing it is well written.

However, there have been times where I have read a book or an article, and it is so badly written, I’ve not been able to follow the story line.  This is due to one of two reasons.  One – the grammar/punctuation is so poor, that I end up reading and re-reading the same line again and again, trying to insert my own punctuation until it makes sense.  Two – the words used as so complicated or technical, that I have to go and get a dictionary or thesaurus to look up what the word actually means, before I can read any further.

Using these two examples, I started to think back about misunderstandings caused by a breakdown in communication or DNC (do not compute/do not know), which I hope you will find amusing.

Earlier this year, my fiancé and myself were battling through floodwaters on the way back home from work.  My fiancé text his best friend to ask if he got home safely, explaining that we barely made it home due to the rising floodwaters, and roads being closed.  His friend text back with the message “f*ck you both ok bud”.  Well this was like a red rag to a bull – my fiancé text back saying how dare you say that, as he had read the message to be “f*ck you both – ok bud.”  A few hours later we had a return message sent, with the punctuation added to the text message.  It should have read “f*ck!  You both ok, bud?”  As you can see, without the punctuation in the right place, the message could read one of two ways…

My second example is from many years ago working with my friend, who was profoundly deaf.  One day at work we were having a discussion about the previous evening.  She had got stuck on a phone call trying to help a customer, bang on 5 o’clock when she was supposed to finish her shift.  Her boyfriend was outside waiting to pick her up, and by the time she had finished her call, she was half an hour late. So I had simply asked my friend the next day, “did your boyfriend moan when he came last night?”  (Meaning when he came to pick her up).  She looked a little bit puzzled, and then replied, “He doesn’t really moan, he just sort of heavy breathes then squeals.”  It took me a few seconds to fathom out we were at crossed purposes, which was really embarrassing for my friend – but incredibly funny!

I think overall, people are getting more slack with their communication skills, the biggest culprit being abbreviated text talk.  Whilst I try to be “with it” so I understand exactly what the text abbreviations mean, there are some that I have no idea what they mean so I start making my own up.

The first two on my list, I do know what they mean, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what other people mean…

OMG   =            Oh My God!  But could mean Orang-utans Mooning Gorillas

LMAO =            Laughing My Ass Off.  But could mean Llamas Masturbate All Over.

MLIA  =            My Life Is Average.  But could mean, Monkey Love Is Awesome!

WTGP =            Want To Go Private?  But could mean Want To Grope Penises?

LBAY =            Laughing Back At You.  But could mean, Licking Bare Ass Yaks!

So next time you write a message, article or say something, remember…  Just because you know what you are talking about, do not assume that everybody else does.  To assume is making an “ass” of “u” and “me”.