Hope

      It is pretty sad. I am getting into a situation where I see little hope, though I never stopped telling myself that things stood pretty well now, that future prospects are still yet to come. The great disaster that fell upon me last year had drilled all the passion out of me little by little, and I often felt I had reached the end of the tunnel. I never knew how it could have happened to me, who was least prepared to it. Perhaps it is life. People never know what will happen tomorrow. A strong voice burst out of my chest when I was drawing the period of the last sentence, which says no. I want to deny that period of my life, want it to be nonexistent, to dwindle away from my memory, for it is almost an insult to me. With the help of him, my lover, I believe I can do it when time elapses. However, I do remember some moments in which I smiled genuinely from the depths of my heart, and I felt such excitement and exhilaration passing through me that I see hope again. These are the moments when I talked with my lover about revenge upon the culprit of my disaster, who is one of my parents. I know it is hard for all of you to accept what I and my boyfriend have done, for it is quite evil, but to punish her and to revenge upon her or her beloved gave me real pleasure and great hope.

      I want to punish her more, want to see her twisted old face fill with more hatred, want to ruin her, want to give her sufferings, and send her to hell. I want to do all the above things or something more severe to recover my self dignity and my pride because I am not Juses, who gave his right cheek to his enemy after his left one was slapped. I was a born devil, and I can feel it. At least I must be able to say to myself in private that people cannot bully me at random with impunity. That woman must pay for what she did.

     My boyfriend is a member of a gang in my country. He loves me. I believe he will punish the woman even more to recover my confidence and pride. It means a great deal to my life, which was once trampled upon by that woman. I am looking forward to letting the world know that people cannot bully me, that those who bullied me perished, because of my lover. I used to be a proud woman, and I want to make myself the one I used to be, though it is quite difficult. People never forget what happened in their lives. They left marks on their memory. How can I eliminate this ugly scar? I have no idea either. I believe in love. Love can conquer everything. If I’ve got hatred in my chest, take action to revenge. I know the scar will disappear after the woman perishes. At this moment, I’ve grasped some hope, with which I will bring the article to an end.