My Most Relatable Fictional Females”

I’ ve been spending a great deal of time recently engaged in sessions with my favorite fantasy lover (Hint: She’s one of the veteran film/TV stud Lorenzo Lamas’s ex-wives). The sheer pleasure, the outright joy, the thorough immersion–imagining myself with my leading fantasy lover is literally one of the only two times I’m truly on top of my schizophrenia-powered hang-ups, theother being when I’m involved in self-talk sessions–these visions provide have caused me to ask myself: Which female characters,in any area of creative narrative, most appeal to me? Which fictional women, in any creative form, would I most want to date in the complete context, not just have sex with?

I thought about it, pondered it, and, finally, came up with four. In order of preference, they are:

.Robin Givens’s cosmetics executive Jacqueline Broyer in the film Boomerang–Essence magazine termed this picture “perhaps [Robin's] greatest film triumph,” and they were absolutely right. As the corporate enchantress who turns the tables on longtime womanizer Eddie Murphy, Robin is everything a contemporary woman should be: beautiful, charming, spirited, intelligent, stylish, and seductive. We immediately see why Marcus Graham (Murphy) is attracted to Jacqueline, why he pursues her, and, finally, why he falls for her. And when Jacqueline treats him as nothing more than a sex toy and dismisses him, as Marcus has done with his previous conquests, the smooth charm, the poised sexiness, and the effortless grace with which Robin invests her role have her actions not only not turning us off but actually rooting for her. Essence magazine asserted that Robin “arguably walked away with” Boomerang, and, after seeing her in it, you’re definitely not in a mood to disagree;

.Ellen Barkin’s murder suspect Helen in the film Sea of Love–People Magazine once contended: “It is impossible to think about Ellen Barkin without thinking of sex.” Just one viewing of Sea of Love proves how right they were. From the very minute the camera focuses upon her, sitting across from investigating police detective Al Pacino in that restaurant, her sexiness, her style, and her charisma immediately capture our attention. And as cop Pacino becomes more and more embroiled with her–which, happily, involves much glorious Ellen nudity–we understand why he falls undr her spell and remains there (The facts that not only is Ellen’s character’s surname not revealed until the picture is two-thirds over but, except for one line of dialogue Ellen has, there is scant evidence that she works at all gives her character an aura of mystery and independence that greatly add to her appeal). And, at the end, when she and Pacino are walking down that busy sidewalk with Pacino aggressively pitching his case to her that he’s become trustworthy and Ellen finally giving off that famous squint-smile to indicate that she’s won over, we know that Pacino is getting the real deal, that he’s getting a life partner who is very much worth having in every sense of the phrase;

.Kelly Preston’s Jane Aubry in the Kevin Costner baseball film For Love of the Game–I’ve been enchanted by Kelly Preston in other pictures (View From the Top, Death Sentence) and have hated John Travolta for having gotten to her before I did, but never did I do either more so than when viewing her in this film. From her very first appearance sitting in that park as Costner approaches her–where we have ample opportunity to drink in her soft, flowing blonde hair; her liquid, searching eyes; her aristocratic, stylish nose; her rich porcelain skin; her full, inviting lips–she draws us in. And during the time when the picture flashes back to detail their courtship, we’re especially entranced by the scene where she and Costner are sitting in that restaurant and Jane-Kelly discloses a vital part of her courting strategy (”I thought not saying anything would make me seem very elegant and mysterious”). And the close of the scene is truly heart-melting: After revealing her wish to Costner that folks could hold up signs during dates to signify their intent, Jane-Kelly holds up a sheet of paper with a single word written upon it, namely “yes,” then the camera pans upward to a close-up of her open, sparkling, smiling face. From then on, she has us in her grasp. And she keeps us in her grasp on through the scene where she and Costner are in that ski-village hospital, Costner having been seriously hurt, and she’s frantically trying to get him proper medical help (”Is this not America?” she loudly enquires. “Is baseball not America’s favorite pastime?” Afterward, when she happens upon a doctor who can treat her man, she passionately proclaims: “Thank you, God!”) and up to the very last scene, where she and Costner are reunited in that airport and they’re kissing fervently, having finally discovered their love for each other (”I love you, Jane.” “I never believed it.” “Believe it”). It is her presence in For Love of the Game that makes us want to tell Costner, as we want to tell John Travolta: “You really are one lucky son of a bitch.”

.Sandra Bullock’s computer programmer Angela Bennett in the film The Net–I’ve been madly, passionately in love with Sandra Bullock since Speed; her performance in The Net definitely solidifies it. As grown-up computer geek Angela Bennett, Sandra has the perfect vehicle for her sprightly good looks, her boundless energy, and her freshman-cheerleader sexiness (An early scene upon those vacation sands with co-star/lead villain Jeremy Northam also reveals that she has a smokin’ hot beach body). All throughout the picture Sandra holds our attention, whether escaping from Northam’s yacht or enlisting the help of her old friend and longtime medical doctor Dennis Miller or dueling with the bad guys via computer. And, at the end, when she winds up taking permanent care of her senile mother (Diane Baker), we’re greatly warmed that our girl has not only survived but has emerged triumphant. The Net’s director Irwin Winkler explained his decision to cast Sandra thusly: “I thought she was someone audiences would like to spend two hours with in a movie theater.” Mr. Winkler, you should be saluted.