Boredom Doesn’t Kill Me, I Commit Suicide

Times when I think boredom kills. I feel like the world turned to slow motion. I walk around the house every step heavy with boredom, my hands move back and forth sluggishly in my aimless wander. I feel like sleeping but sleep is too cruel to fulfill my desire. The seconds pass like eons and I watch the arms of the clock rotating, meeting numbers in audible ticks, still hoping that the rotation would make me sleepy. You see, optimistic people faked a theory which says that boredom makes you sleep, as if people won’t realize how false this theory is. Still I try sleeping hoping that it would work, but knowing that it won’t. And as I lay my head on the soft pillow and close my eyes, I hear the clock ticking slowly, teasing me and announcing that my attempt to sleep was in vain.

Boredom is a state where the mind is vacant not in a meditating or a relaxing mood, but in a mood where you feel like the clock is broken and time has stopped. Like everything is still, even the air. No wind blowing, no breeze playing with loose strands of my hair and stroking my cheeks lightly, no raging storm fighting with the trees and slamming windows in noisy friction, pushing the tender clouds to tears. Just stillness. A state of complete vacancy that empty places would seem interesting. At least my mind would wonder why is it empty and what should it be filled with and thus my mind would works and escapes the stillness and the gloom. Boredom is a state where the world seems very idle and uninteresting, like the world has nothing more to give and nothing more different to offer.

Even though boring moments are heavy and absolutely awful, when the moments of fun snatch me from the claws of boredom, I forget all the boring, suffocating moments and just let fun burry me deep in its happy climate. But when boredom gets a grip of me again, I don’t remember anything but the deep boring moments of life.

How weird we are?! We all talk about boredom as moments but if we really thought about our lives, how we eat, sleep, drink and shower then again eat, sleep, drink and shower every single day of our lives, we would know that we LET boredom grab us; only to find something to blame. If not how would we find fun moments in our lives while our needs force us to follow a routine? Boredom is actually a state of mind, a state of mood, not a state of shortness in activities because sooner or later we find something to do and that something was there all along.